353 | The Amazing Kim LengLing on Positive Talk Radio at KKNW 1150AM!

Unknown Speaker  0:00  
This is a production of km media dot Pro. Welcome back to positive talk radio. Our goal is simple to explore evolving ideas one conversation at a time. So come on over into our world. I know you'll like it. Because on today's show today we feature a couple of lovely ladies. My author, awesome friend, Dana Parker is here. And we've got a brand new friend that we're going to introduce to you today. And she is she's really is remarkable at what she's doing. And before we go there, Nathan, I thought it was supposed to be sunny and nice. What happened?

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Man, the weather people just decided to walk into the back room and flip a switch. And suddenly we go from nonstop sun to nonstop rain

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in the blink of an eye. And it's supposed to be windy as a windy, windy, windy,

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windy up to 40 mile per hour gusts. So get your portable chargers ready and get some I don't know heaters or extra blankets ready. You might lose power if you're in an area prone to that.

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So if you're listening to this radio show, and suddenly it goes bad it's because we lost power.

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That was only a test.

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It's only a test. Absolutely. Dana how are you? It's great to see you again.

Unknown Speaker  1:28  
Oh, I'm so happy to be here. It's a nice cold day here too. It's actually there snow all over.

Unknown Speaker  1:34  
Oh really knows. I didn't know you're in Utah.

Unknown Speaker  1:39  
Yep. Yeah, the first snow is always a little bit like because people forget about how to drive in snow and Utah for some reason. Like every first now you have to be like really careful because people get crazy.

Unknown Speaker  1:52  
They're crazy like that all the time here. Whenever it snows. Whenever it's whenever the weather the weather gets bad. Now you're better off just staying home. And Kim, where are you going to Where are you i originating from today?

Unknown Speaker  2:05  
I am coming to you from Pennsylvania. And it sounds like we have nicer weather than all of you folks because we've got blue sky sunshine and 70 degrees in November in Pennsylvania, which is unheard of. That's crazy

Unknown Speaker  2:18  
and have an outdoor barbecue for Thanksgiving. Yeah, exactly. Exactly.

Unknown Speaker  2:25  
So do people still drive around in horse and buggy in in Pennsylvania?

Unknown Speaker  2:29  
We're Amish country. Yes.

Unknown Speaker  2:34  
Dana, you didn't think that I can figure that out all by myself? Did Yeah.

Unknown Speaker  2:37  
Well, I the first five seconds. I was like Kevin and then my last then I was like, oh Amish people. Yeah, I connect it. And then she said I was like, I see where you're going, Kevin.

Unknown Speaker  2:52  
So do you have a lot of Amish in your area or is that since that specific area that they occupy? They're everywhere.

Unknown Speaker  2:59  
They're everywhere. I'm on the West Coast, like up in the northwest corner and we have quite a few communities surrounding us. Smaller, like small towns. very rural. I'm in a I'm in a small rural town to surrounded by farm fields and woods. But over on the other side of PA Lancaster in all of that. That's where the big congregation the big. I don't know what they're called communities. Sex I you know, S e c t s I

Unknown Speaker  3:31  
thank you for clarifying. spell that. I'm not gonna go there. horrible thoughts right there. But

Unknown Speaker  3:44  
that's all right. I don't know what they're called communities. There's lots of them. Yes.

Unknown Speaker  3:49  
So Dana, first of all, I have to mention that I talked to Kim yesterday and she was we had such a good time. And she's a podcaster. She's a television personality. She also does a nonprofit show for veterans. And she does and she's a writer. And so I wanted to have her on because we she her podcast, which is called let fear bounce.

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And I love that title.

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And positive talk radio. We're very aligned in what we are trying to accomplish, which is to try to make the world a little bit better place and she also is very interested in. I mentioned to her about Matthew Stapley. Yeah, he had him on and he's the psychic medium, and and hurt her ears perked up and she was like, Oh, really? You have one of those? Well, Dana is it was really fun because several weeks ago, or I guess a month or so ago now. Matthew was on and and Dana and him worked very well together to develop your a psychic phenomenon. that I can't do. But it was really cool. And, and so Dana, your get your gifts are blossoming, aren't they?

Unknown Speaker  5:08  
Yes. And they've always been there I think because of of my background in life coaching, and hypnosis and like retraining the brain and NLP, it's like, that has been my main focus. But I do. And I have noticed the last several years when clients come to me I just sense things like I can just sense things about people. And I don't claim that it's always right. It's just there's this sensing that happens. And I ask questions and get curious. And, and a lot of times, it's helpful information. So it's been really cool to see that expand and grow. Especially in the presence of Matthew, you know, when he he's always like, Dana, Dana, like, pulls me in. And it's, it's cool to be able to strengthen that muscle, you know,

Unknown Speaker  5:54  
oh, it really is. And, you know, Dan, Kim and I were talking yesterday about our style of doing the the radio shows like, like, I know that I got up at 7am and was writing it out and said, No, that's not true. I do this on the on the cuff and it works out for me. And she doesn't same thing. And does. And it comes from a different place. It comes from a higher source. And the we just are able to put things together and ask questions would that be? Would that be a fair assessment, Kim?

Unknown Speaker  6:27  
Yeah, I say and we had mentioned being extremely empathetic. Yeah, you can, you can feel that vibe coming off someone and you can tell if they're not lying. They're just not sharing the full story. And so all these questions pop in your head like, wait. It's like you can hear beyond the noise. Yeah. If that makes you better. Yeah.

Unknown Speaker  6:51  
Well, and it's something that we all have. Yeah, some of us admit that we have it and then work to strengthen it like what? Yeah, definitely. And by the way, Nathan, I've got I've got a challenge for you, sir.

Unknown Speaker  7:08  
Oh, what's that? Well, we

Unknown Speaker  7:11  
have a new store on positive talk radio dotnet. And so we've got garments on there and, and swag. I don't wear the Word Swag. Come from guys. I have no idea.

Unknown Speaker  7:23  
Swagger, swagger.

Unknown Speaker  7:26  
Swag stands for stuff we all get. Ah, oh, really?

Unknown Speaker  7:31  
No one from that generation? And I don't know that.

Unknown Speaker  7:34  
That's that's pretty cool.

Unknown Speaker  7:36  
Stuff we all get. Sorry. Just had no idea that was an acronym. Yeah.

Unknown Speaker  7:42  
Yep. So we have a shirt, a t shirt that we have developed. And Nathan your job during the course of this show. And we're not going to tell anybody. But you're gonna break in at one point. And you're gonna give the phone numbers and say the first person who gives us a call is going to win a t shirt, and then we will send it to them. And on the front of the t shirt, it was saying is Be kind to one another because each other is all we've got. And so so that if somebody wants to win that they need us watch your listen to the entire show. And then when you make that decision, and just have it be coming out of your heart, and when you feel the time is right. And then you break in and say the call now and you can win this.

Unknown Speaker  8:32  
All right, that sounds good. Okay, give us a call. Eventually. I'm not ready yet.

Unknown Speaker  8:39  
But because because we're just going to talk you by the way if you'd like to talk to these fine ladies that are both talented in their own right in their own way. You can do that. And if you want to a little bit of coaching from Dana and we can work together with that and and and with Kim and her gifts and all even chime in a little bit. But you can give us a call on Nathan. How did they get that done? Oh,

Unknown Speaker  9:05  
it looks like we're doing that now. Huh? Well, I'm

Unknown Speaker  9:07  
not doing the shirt now. The shirt, your shirt. Your shirt? No, sir. You're gonna say

Unknown Speaker  9:12  
sir, a question. This is just for a question. All right, 425-373-5527, or toll free at 182985569. So you

Unknown Speaker  9:25  
can join our party for nothing and just have a good time and we can answer some questions for you. And stuff like that. Then yesterday, Dana, first of all, Kim, I have to tell you, the dirt. I can pretty much guarantee you that during the course of the show today. Dana's gonna get emotional.

Unknown Speaker  9:44  
It's true. I just I feel with my whole heart. I live with my whole heart.

Unknown Speaker  9:49  
Well, who's the one who was crying last night?

Unknown Speaker  9:53  
I felt like Barbara Walters.

Unknown Speaker  9:56  
Oh, so So I really I'll tell me a little bit more. I feel like I missed out on that call and that connection. So I'm just coming in. Kim, tell me a little bit more about what you do and why. I would love to hear well, what

Unknown Speaker  10:12  
what got me emotional and what always gets me emotional is I'm a veteran. And Kevin had asked me about the radio show that I do here called Voices for vets in my local area. So Sharon, about that. And then he said, you know, why do you do what you do? And that's what hit me. Because it's, it's with your whole heart, my whole heart. And all of the veterans, my family, I consider them my family. And we were talking about that, and why, why I feel so strongly about it. And I'm a veteran who lives with PTSD. So I know how hard that is, how hard a day can be. And sometimes, you know, you get through the day, minute by minute, some days are awesome. But then some days, you know, you got your demons coming in, and they're slithering in. And when you're talking to another veteran, and they're struggling, and what I do in my spare time, my volunteer time is I support those that have PTSD, I support those that are homeless, or soon to be homeless. Yeah. And when I'm talking to them, that's where that empathy thing we were talking about earlier came in and still comes in. Because I can I can feel more than what they're saying. And so I can innately figure out, okay, well, I'm gonna get you this then, because you're not going to go without on my watch. And it's a, it's very near and dear to my heart. And I do it for over 25 years, and I will not stop doing it. Because as I told Kevin, last night, everybody has a light, and it might be dim, it might be dim, because of what the world has thrown at you and what your eyes have had to see what your heart is, had to feel what you've had to do. Yeah. And it's take strength and courage to get through each day, living with your demons, because you're fighting battles that no one sees. It's true. Nobody sees them. And that there's tremendous strength in that. And my thing is, you can't let your light dim. And if it's Dimon, then I'll give you a little bit of my spark, then, yeah, my sparks low that day. I'm going to ask somebody to come and fan it a little bit. So I can in turn, help somebody else's flame, you know, burn a little brighter because everybody's flames needed. They're all needed. And don't let them you know, and that's where I got a little emotional. Yeah. Where are you? A small portion of our conversation.

Unknown Speaker  12:40  
Where are you and you can go to positive talk radio.net To watch the entire and listen to the entire interview. But what really got you emotional was because you are PTSD sufferer yourself. There was a period of time when tell the story of wins, a couple of veterans came up to you.

Unknown Speaker  13:01  
This was a long time ago, a few decades ago, so I'm aging myself. But I was in a very dark place. I was in that spot where nothing, nothing was reaching me. And I was very ill wasn't eaten, wasn't sleeping, I was changed smoking, like a chimney, lost all kinds of weight. And just pretty much hated the world. And couple, the veterans in my post their Vietnam combat veterans. They call me the kid. And they came out and they said, well, kid, we don't know exactly what's going on. But we recognize the signs. Yeah. And if you don't go and get help and talk to somebody about Him, we will drag you there. And my comment was not nice. So I'm not going to share it on the radio.

Unknown Speaker  13:52  
We don't want anything to go crazy here.

Unknown Speaker  13:55  
Let's just say I was angry. And I said no. And I threw extra words in there. And they said, If you don't, we will drag you there. And they did. They drugged me there. And I'm very thankful and blessed that they did. Because it took a long time to crawl out of that darkness. It really did. It took a long time. Yeah. And I've reached the point now where is it still there? Yes. stuff still triggers. Yeah. emotional memories. Powerful. That is so powerful stuff there. Yeah. And you just have to learn it, learn what tools to use to fight it off. And I always I always say there's a demand on my shoulder. Yeah, you know, I don't like to give them a formal name just on the demand. And I flick them off. Like you not want to hear today and I

Unknown Speaker  14:52  
love that

Unknown Speaker  14:53  
I love and I have to physically do stuff like that to sink into my Brain? Yes. You know? So yeah, that's just feeding that

Unknown Speaker  15:05  
image to your brain of no thank you. And and continually do that. And, you know, I've had I've had some of my own experiences where I have actually done similar things. I'm like, No thanks. I don't want that fear. I'm not interested in that today. And I'm choosing to focus in on the present, and what I'm creating and the positive things going on in my life. And when things are hard, that takes energy, and it takes focus. And it takes bringing yourself back again. And again. And again. That's the thing that people don't understand about, you know, I think the inner battle that often can be going on, you know, especially for someone like me, that comes off very bubbly and happy. And people are like, How are you so happy. And I'm like, what you don't understand is the effort that it takes to bring myself back into train myself to be in that place again, and again, I'm just really committed, I'm really committed to that I'm really committed to doing my best to bring light to the world. And that commitment is like one of the top priorities in my life, because I want to have impact here, I want to have impact with the Walmart clerk that I go check out with, I want to have impact with with, you know, the gas station person, I want to have impact every single place I go walking past a stranger saying hi smiling, sharing that that light. And that's what it takes to share that kind of light is that commitment to, you know what, today, I'm just going to bring myself back. And other days, I get to turn and face those fears. You know, some days that is part of my strategy is really allowing myself to be human, and to feel, you know, people that the everyday person and I would say maybe there's only one, two, maybe three, or a handful of people that have ever seen the fetal position crying my eyes out experiences that I've had, you know, and I think that we forget that we're in this Facebook Instagram world, that we just see the best parts of everyone else's life, we forget that there's so much more going on behind the scenes, that that we can't see that we don't know, you know,

Unknown Speaker  17:24  
you mentioned, you want to bring light to the person, you know, the cashier and the person at the gas station. My Word of the Year has been hope. And it was given to me then that's how i That's how I feel. It was given to me at the end of last year around this time. And it was showing up everywhere. Everywhere. I looked, listen, read whatever the word was. So I'm like, Well, what am I supposed to be, you know, what am I supposed to be doing with this? And I was just told I'm supposed to share it. And I'm like, Well, how do I share it? So I you know, it was just thinking of different things and started a collaborative book project called when hope found me. And you know, it was gathering people together to share their stories of hope and spread their light. But then I was like, Wait, ma'am, I'm overthinking it. I think I'm just supposed to do something simple. Yeah, literally came up with I just want to share nuggets, a hope, just little nuggets here and there. So I actually got little stones with the word hope honor,

Unknown Speaker  18:30  
I love that, by the way, love. And I

Unknown Speaker  18:33  
carry them with me. I got a ton of them. And I carry I'm someone my purse or in my pocket, whatever. And when I see someone or I feel that that's the person I'm supposed to give a little nugget of hope to. I approached total stranger. Yeah. And I just walk up to him say, Excuse me, I just want to give you a little nugget of hope today. And they without fail. Everyone has opened up their hand and I just gently place it in their hand and I say I hope you have a blessed day. And then I've turned him walk away because I don't feel I'm supposed to talk to him. I don't think I'm supposed to engage. Yeah, I'm just supposed to give them that little nugget. They can think about or holding their hand or carrying their pocket. And I've had people laugh at me. I've had one person look at me like, wow, who are you? You know, like, crazy woman. I've had people break down in tears and no words were shared. Right? And I just said I wish you a blessed day. Yeah, like turn and walk away. And oftentimes last time I did that I literally got in my car and just started crying. Yeah, because the gentleman that I gave it to. It was almost like I was stalking him in the store. I'm like I think I think this is I'm a creeper and walk around my little nugget. Get it. And he left the store at the same time I did. And I'm like, oh my goodness, he is the person I'm supposed to give this to. And so I walked up to him, let him know I was coming behind him. So Excuse me, sir, I just want to give you a little nugget of hope today. And he didn't look at it, he opened up his hand, close his hand, and said, thank you. And I went, Have a blessed day. And as I walked away as I walked away, I heard him say, Oh, thank you. The whole demeanor changed. And I just turned and glanced back. And he was standing there looking down at it, or started, and I got in my car. And I just started crying. And I'm like, okay, creeping that man through the store was worth it, because he's the one who needed that little nugget of hope. But it's that, you know, I don't know what that who that man was, what his name was, what his life is what's going on. But I carry these little things with me everywhere.

Unknown Speaker  21:05  
I love that so much. I love that. I think that, that you know what's so fascinating. And as you tell this story, you just you just taught me so much one giving us vulnerable. There's a vulnerability and giving. And, and oftentimes that can hold people back. And what's incredible about you, Kim, as you push through that fear of that vulnerability, because we don't want to be rejected. And what I want people to understand in this moment of when you give like this, when you give with no strings attached, and you just want to add goodness into the world, when someone reacts negatively, it's most likely because they've never experienced that in their entire life, that they don't even know what to do with it. But they will think of that again, and again. And again. They it will be it will be brought back to their memory again and again. And I want to say one more thing about hope. Because we minimize hope as a culture, we minimize hope to Oh, hopefully maybe as this may be a definition of hope is an expectation of good things to come. Expectation of good things to come. That's that's the energy behind hope. And it's one of actually my key words of who I feel like what I embody hope, joy and love. Those three things are like the essence of me that I share. And so that word just means so much to me. And I love. I love that that's what you're doing. And that's the way that you share. I think that's incredible. And I just want to invite everyone listening, find something like this to do find something like this to to give to people, in your words, even just to compliment that compliment. How many of you think about it have been given a compliment in your life that you've thought about again, and again and again. And again, your words add value, this this nugget, this rock of hope that says hold on it and beautiful gold writing that Kim has for those of you who can't see it, that that is something that that brings goodness into the world and in a small but profound way that it's something we can all do. It's, we can't discount those little things, those little things add up over time.

Unknown Speaker  23:22  
Those little things are actually really big things. Yes, because they can change somebody's life.

Unknown Speaker  23:27  
And if you want something to carry around or even wear, we have a shirt on the positive talk radio.net store that says Be kind to each other because each other is all we've gotten, we got a special offer today. If you call right now, we'll get you one of those shirts as a gift. And the phone number to call is 425-373-5527 or toll free at 1-888-298-5569. We'll just get some information from you. And we'll send it over to Kevin McDonald and ship you one of these shirts.

Unknown Speaker  24:01  
And they are really nice shirts too. So this is not a cheapy deal. This is kind of kicking off our store on positive talk radio dotnet. And you can go there, there's a bunch of stuff. And there's going to be more in the future. But I would love for you to have the shirt so that when you wear it, you can actually make a small difference in the world just by wearing the shirt. And that that would be really cool. So Dana, aren't you glad I brought Kim along she is really cool, loving

Unknown Speaker  24:30  
this. I'm loving this. I just I'm so grateful for what you're doing and how profound these small things aren't. It's such a great reminder right now. And especially this time of year when things can get so busy and we're thinking so much about gifts and we're thinking so much about ourselves and our families and all of that. It's like such a great profound reminder and I just

Unknown Speaker  24:53  
love this time of year is incredibly hard for many Many people, yes. And it seems like that's what I see more than the whole joyous, right season, right? I have a tendency to notice those that it's not joyous. And it hasn't been for a long time. They might not have anybody that they spend the holidays with. And it's all they can do to get through that day. That's one of those days where it's minute by minute, okay, it's bedtime. Now I can go to bed the days over, thank goodness. I know a lot of people. And I see a lot of people like that the closer we get to like Thanksgiving, and you know, you're in the store. And I'm just an I'm a people watcher, I really, I pick up on a lot of stuff out in public. And you're walking through the store, and you might see a mom with two little ones. And she's as common as can be keeping her kids together. You know, one of those really mellow kind of moms, you know, the ones that you're just like, wow, how does she keep it so together like that, and, wow, that's just amazing. I was not like that as a mom. And then you take just a little closer look. And you're like, She's so tired. And she might not have any help. She might be a single mum wondering, Okay, I've got just this much for groceries this week. I can't even think of Christmas. Yeah. Yeah, you know, and so you get those vibes from people, and it breaks my heart. And that's why now, my purse is kind of heavy. It's like throwing more of these in there. These are stones, by the way. I mean, there's, there's some heft to them. But I, you know, I'm thinking if anything, that's my little thing, my little nugget, my little pebble that I'm tossing out in the water, and I'm just trying to cause a little ripple. And the ripples going to land. On the other side, exactly where it's meant to land. Maybe I give maybe I give one of these to someone whose life is absolutely wonderful, but they know someone that needs hope. Great, you know, exactly. So it's like, I just want I tell some of my friends, I just want to chuck my Nuggets of hope every

Unknown Speaker  27:19  
way I love. I love that.

Unknown Speaker  27:24  
We know have you have that it goes goes back aways again. But there was a movie called Rocky. And in the in that movie, B and this is a lot more common than is not common. And that is this is that he and Adrian were going and walking down the street. And Adrian, it was Thanksgiving. And Adrian said, you know, my brother just threw the bird out in the backyard because he wanted me to go away and, and stuff and, and rocky had a profound statement. He said, Well, you know, for you, it's Thanksgiving, for me, it's Thursday. And because a lot of people don't even recognize don't have anywhere to go, they don't have anybody to see. And they just assume it's it's not Thanksgiving, it's it's Thursday, I got nothing to be thankful for. But I'll tell you who has something to be thankful for Nathan, we have a winner, we have a winner,

Unknown Speaker  28:16  
congratulations, Noreen. You are going to get your own be kind to each other because each other is all we got teasers.

Unknown Speaker  28:33  
That's awesome. Laureen Thank you very much. And I'm glad that you're gonna get that you're gonna like it. And I hope you wear it a lot. Because it's, it's a really cool idea. And it's got our logo on the front of it. And then the same goes on the back. It's really cool. You can go to the store, you can pick one up, they're not very expensive, and they're, and it makes a statement, we're gonna have a bunch of those that are going to make a statement about our lives and who we are and who we can be, and how each of us can impact each other. I'm loving the show. And matter of fact, I don't want to take a break, but I gotta and and so if you guys will hang up for just a second. It'll just be like a two minute break. We're talking with Kim Lang Lang. She's an author. I even celebrate. Aren't you proud of me?

Unknown Speaker  29:15  
I am. David Parker from

Unknown Speaker  29:19  
inner world movement. She is one of our bestest friends and has been with me for a year and a half and boy has she grown up in that time. It's just truly amazing. So and Nathan, he's six foot eight, so he has no more burning to do. So

Unknown Speaker  29:33  
I hope not.

Unknown Speaker  29:36  
Not so stay with us. Ladies and gentlemen. We will be right back after these messages. Hey there. I'm excited that you're listening right now. And if you like what we're doing here, you're gonna love positive talk radio dotnet on positive talk radio dotnet. Each show which is recorded live is packed with positivity. nation with real people discussing real issues and positive solutions that can work for everyone. I hope that you'll join us on positive talk radio dotnet and listen to all 340 Plus shows. I think it's worth your time. But then that's just me that's positive talk radio dotnet your home for great progressive positive podcast.

Unknown Speaker  30:21  
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Unknown Speaker  30:56  
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Unknown Speaker  31:50  
And welcome back everybody to positive talk radio on a Friday. And I want to thank everybody for being here. Your if you are just tuning in, you've missed a whale of a show so far. But we've got 30 minutes left or so. Okay, 25 minutes left, but we will have lots of time for you if you'd like to give us a call. And to talk about I got an idea. Let's run this. Let's run this by everybody for size. Over the course of my lifetime, which started in the US in the late 50s. We've had the Vietnam War. We've had Iraq twice, we've had Afghanistan we've had other places we have sent our young men and women. And I have got to two perfect people that if you feeling down you're feeling like you are you need some help with your PTSD or with your just feeling badly. There are literally millions, millions, I tell you millions of people that work in the military, and a lot of them saw some things and face some things, including our guest today, Kim, that are just beyond belief. And if you're feeling that way, we'd love for you to call because these two can help you. And to kind of point you in the right direction. I just thought of that. I don't know whether we can do that or not. But I just thought that that would be fun to do. Nathan, how do they get ahold of us? If they have the need?

Unknown Speaker  33:16  
They can just give us a call at 42537355 to seven or toll free at 888-298-5569.

Unknown Speaker  33:26  
So Kim, are you having fun?

Unknown Speaker  33:27  
I am Hey, real quick, though. There's a new national number for veteran crisis hotline. It's simply 988 and press one. It's really easy to remember now they just released that I think in October 988, press one for the veteran crisis hotline.

Unknown Speaker  33:46  
Cool. So if you are feeling stuck, because that is one of the big problems that we have in our country is the number of people that are taking their own lives that that were in the military, and they just feel they feel lost. So 988 Dana Glenn?

Unknown Speaker  34:00  
Oh, well, I have a question for you, Ken. Because, you know, going back to your story at the beginning, when you know, those, those two amazing individuals approached you and said, Hey, we see what's going on, and you're going to this place to get some support. You know, I think sometimes well, I'm gonna ask you, do you think sometimes it's hard to know, it's hard to be really aware of exactly what's going on? And maybe some of the what are the signs that that you would want to be calling that number? What are some of the red flags within you? Maybe at the beginning middle and then when you really, you know, there's that that spectrum, right? So

Unknown Speaker  34:44  
what I'm a veteran talking to a veteran, it's much easier to notice. Because they get it they've been there done that. And I have noticed that that it's easier for me to notice. Something going on with a veteran. Because we've kind of got the same mindset. You know, we've been there done that. But things that I've noticed when I'm talking to people, because they'll call us or loved ones will call us and say, Hey, I just don't know what to do. They've isolated themselves. If you have a loved one that's isolating themselves, are they having fits of anger, that didn't used to be there before? Nightmares, consistent nightmares, flashbacks during the day, unable to leave the house. There's a lot, you know, drinking, drinking a lot, starting drugs or escalating in drug use. There's so many, so many signs to watch for. And each person is different, each person carries their demons differently. And some of them they carry them right out in the open with them. You just how I approach it is always gentle. I might have somebody screaming in my face. Who do you think you are? You don't know anything? Well, you know, really, really letting me have it. And I have to sit there and remember, okay, this isn't them. Right now. It's their demons screaming out. Right. And so gentle. Be very gentle. And never try and smash someone's pride and make them feel worse. By saying, you know, look at you, you blah, blah. You never used to be like this, I don't even know who you are anymore. And you need to get help. Or you need to just get out of here. I can't take this anymore. Instead of knocking them when they're down. Be gentle and try and listen. And if they don't want to talk, find someone who they can talk to. And more than likely for veterans, it'll be another combat veteran. Because they've been there done that, and they'll get it.

Unknown Speaker  37:09  
Yeah. When someone, because a lot of times, I think when you have a loved one, that you're just there, how they're showing up as is starting to wear on you, there is that natural tendency of lashing out. But how have you noticed that that creates a space where it's less safe, and it's, there's less opportunity for change, versus approaching it and while this person is clearly hurting, clearly struggling. And and, and you know, the ability to have the self awareness, I think to go within and to say, my irritation, my my stuff is that I'm scared. That's where my irritation is coming from. I'm scared because I don't know what to do. And I think that that can be a very common misconception, you're irritated. But it's not. Oftentimes I don't feel it's at the other person. If we really take a look at it, we're more irritated because we're scared ourselves what to do, how to show up. You know, I feel that often as a mom, I feel that often when you know, my children struggle, and I don't know what to do.

Unknown Speaker  38:25  
It there's, I've seen for the majority of it, veterans. Their veteran, they're strong, they've been in combat, they can handle anything, period. That's the mindset. That's the mindset. And I'm not a counselor, and I'm not trained, nor do I have letters beyond my name to help that. So I cannot, I can direct people. It's, there's there's a lot to it. And I just know from my own personal journey, it wasn't someone just saying, look within this was years and years. Because you can lock stuff up away very tightly, where it's not getting out until you're till the rest of your world crumbles. And then the wall smashes open. And then you feel like you're losing your mind because everything comes blasting out at once. It's different for everybody. And I just I'm familiar with veterans, because that's what I've been doing for 25 years. You know. It's very hard for a veteran. And I'm just saying this in general. So if anyone out there listening is a veteran, please don't take this as a personal affront. I'm saying this in general, it's very hard to put the pride aside. It's very hard to put the pride aside and say, Wow, I really need help. And for those who do say that, and they it might take them a while to admit to it. Oh my gosh, I just want to jump up and down and cheer. For him, because Oh, yes, you know, you are you are so worth worth being here. You are so worth being here. Yeah, there is no reason that you should feel that you don't belong on this planet anymore. You're so worth being here. And I've said that so many times to so many people. And sometimes it didn't work. Right. And then your heart breaks, right? Yeah. So that just makes me pray harder and work harder. Yeah, yeah.

Unknown Speaker  40:41  
There's one more thing I'd like to enter into the conversation with. And that is that the we're finding out more and more about what goes on with the brain, when the brain is been messed with in the wrong way, that there's a lot of a lot of the veterans that were exposed to that with IEDs and, and other explosives, and they would get, they will get concussions. And those until real recently, were not looked at as always just a concussion, he'll just he got his bell rung, He will be fine. And but there's a famous person football player, not going to use his name, who recently got a divorce because his wife said that he had changed over time because of the number of concussions that he had sustained during the course of his career. And so this is for all the moms and dads out there. If your child gay if you're playing football, and I was fortunate, I played football, I boxed I did a bunch of stuff. I have a thick skull, so I never had a concussion, but it can't happen. And it can be a life changing experience as well. So get the if your child is experiencing that if your husband is if he played sports years ago, it may not be over with and they need they need help. Do you both think you're both moderate?

Unknown Speaker  42:09  
Traumatic brain injuries. That's something Yeah, those symptoms can they can show themselves? years later. Yeah. Yeah. It's, you know, it's there's there's a course and I don't know if it's nationwide or not where EMTs like first responders, firemen, EMTs police officers, there was a course for them to take about when you pull people over how to recognize if someone's drunk or on something or if they have a traumatic brain injury. And they're treated as they're drunk or something. And they're not. There's some sort of, there was some sort of program a few years ago, because I know some of the first responders and stuff in my local area have had that training. And I was just amazed by it because you don't think about that. And they shared a story of a gentleman who was pulled over and was treated very roughly because he was belligerent and acting like he was drunk. But he passed all of the drinking you know, whatever tests they have you do on the side of the road. That turns out when they finally got a hold of his family member, they like he has a he had a you know, he's got a TBI. He's not drunk. This is him now. So it's very interesting. The stuff with the brain. The brain is an amazing thing. And amazing thing.

Unknown Speaker  43:38  
Indeed, it is and, and Dana, you work with people that have suffered from PTSD as well have, you know,

Unknown Speaker  43:46  
um, that's not really my area of expertise, necessarily. I, that hasn't been anything that I've spent a ton of time studying. So

Unknown Speaker  43:56  
no, no. Well, then in that case, we're glad that Kim is here. Because she absolutely. And by the way, Kim, if somebody would like to listen to your podcast, how would they go about doing that?

Unknown Speaker  44:09  
That it's on any of the platforms Spotify, it's the toaster on Anchor, but it's on Spotify, and all the other you know, there's Google, Google Play Google Play. It's on all of those platforms. I've completely I you shifted subjects on me really quickly.

Unknown Speaker  44:26  
I have a tendency to do that. Alright, there goes my brain.

Unknown Speaker  44:29  
And my mind is the name.

Unknown Speaker  44:31  
The easiest way is just to go to my website, which is Kim Ling Ling author.com and the web there, the podcast is right on there. So you can you can listen to episodes from there, if you like and it will take you right to any platform. Give us one more time. My website is Kim Ling Ling. author.com the name of the podcast is let fear bounce, spell Ling Ling L e n g l i n g just like The beer dangling only put an L on the front. There's a beer dangling dangling beer.

Unknown Speaker  45:06  
I'd never heard of that.

Unknown Speaker  45:08  
Tend to Midwest.

Unknown Speaker  45:10  
Some of its made in Pennsylvania. Okay,

Unknown Speaker  45:14  
well, I'd never I'd never drank beer in the Midwest much. I gotta say the only

Unknown Speaker  45:18  
time I've had this one. I've gone to Chicago.

Unknown Speaker  45:21  
They have in Chicago. Okay. It's good stuff. The Black and Tan. Well, I don't drink anymore. haven't drank in years. But gangling was that was it's It's an acquired taste. It's a little little harsh, a little bitter. Oh,

Unknown Speaker  45:33  
wonderful. I love harsh and bitter things to drink.

Unknown Speaker  45:37  
Haven't I haven't drank. And you're not that I drink a lot. Anyway, I think I average two beers a year.

Unknown Speaker  45:43  
I was less you know, Dana, I wanted to touch bases with you, because you have been a very, very, very busy, professional woman, what have you been doing with yourself?

Unknown Speaker  46:00  
Well, lots of good things and stepping into. I'm learning so many new things right now, stepping into business I just signed on as a partner in business with the company called evolving to exceptional and started. We're creating online content right now, we have an emotional intelligence app coming out, that's really incredible, that can help you track your emotions based off of your voice recognition, they have this really cool new technology that they've been studying the last five years, and can really help give you tips on how to handle emotions, and what that looks like. We're creating a lot of content around just helping people understand the beginning phases of even recognizing emotion and understanding how to name their emotion and what they're experiencing. And then how to dive deeper into those those kinds of things and connecting with themselves more because a lot of times what I find the area of emotional intelligence has been a fascinating topic. And when I've studied for years, and and I think a lot of people spend a lot of their life running from emotions, fearing emotions, stuffing emotions. And so one of my big goals in life is to help people understand and embrace their emotions and learn how to feel them and bring compassion and love to them. And it's a really interesting practice that I don't think ever ends. I think it's a lifelong journey and practice. So

Unknown Speaker  47:45  
Haven't you heard of the rule that men are supposed to stop with our emotions? We can show anger, but we dare not show fear or crying or emote? I mean, that's unmanly. Haven't you heard?

Unknown Speaker  47:58  
I know culturally, this is why I get even more excited when I work with men because they have a cultural stigma to overcome and a cultural programming in their mind that says if I feel emotions that are anything but anger and anything around that, any cousin to that, that I'm weak and I'm not a man, and it's culturally trained into men and what's interesting is my life has been filled with men I have four boys and and I have brothers and I have lots of lots of boys around me and I think this is part of the reason why is because this area means a lot to me retraining, I, you know, retraining boys that it's okay to feel everything what you do with it matters, it does matter. That emotion there's nothing wrong with that emotion and it's acceptable where you choose to put that emotion does make a difference. And and giving them options and possibilities. And you know, I honestly my children I cheer them on when they express their emotions in healthy ways. You know, my seven year old the other day I've been really working with him on where to put his emotions when he feels angry about with his brothers because he's the youngest you know, and you're the youngest you get you get picked on on you get told what to do a lot and it would be really annoying, you know, kind of frustrating at times it was and his reaction is to go and physically hit his brothers and we talk all the time. You know, okay, what are you feeling? Oh, okay. This is where we go put that emotion you can go punch a pillow you can go scream in a pillow we can run around the block, we can dance it out. We can laugh we can do any of those things what what's your choice? And you know, it's it's really coaching him through that over and over that repetition. But the other day when he he got so mad and he went to go hit his brother and then he turned and punch the pillow and I just got up just celebrating him and expressing that in a healthy way. That that is a it's just a soul fulfilling experience to help help men understand and celebrate them in their emotion. You know, the guy I'm dating, when he expresses motion, I'm like, yes, thank you come here. I just I love that you do that. It's so incredible. And and there's times even when he's angry that I'm like, Come here, let me just hug you right now that this isn't you're expressing a lot of anger. And I can tell you're really mad. And I'm not gonna take it personally, because I could see why you're mad coming on, let me just hug you. And you know, I'll just hug him. And I'll

Unknown Speaker  50:46  
just becoming a trained behavior that every time he gets mad, he gets a hug.

Unknown Speaker  50:52  
Right? I mean, you know, and he's good about not personally attacking me. There's, there's lots of healthy boundaries there and healthy things. So we talk about, you know, if he's just expressing about his experience with something and he's mad, it's like, yeah, I cheer him on. Like, you get that anger out, babe, you express that, like, it's so good. It's so unhealthy. And then if it's about me, and it becomes personal tax, I'm like, wait a minute, wait a minute, let's, let's set some boundaries here. And you can tell me your experience from your perspective. And I'm, and I'll listen to that. And let's, let's focus there. So it's, it's such a fulfilling experience, when when, and I can tell you, the only reason why I have that ability to do that is because I do that for myself. I do that for me. Like, it has to start with you. If you're gonna show up in the world, more loving more kind, you know, if you're gonna have this, this capability to be in love. You know, just like Kim, when when someone's yelling in her face, and she's like, I know, that's not them. And she just holds that space of love, and gentleness. It's because she's learned to do that for herself. It's because she has practiced that. And that's, that's really what it takes is beginning the practices for yourself to then be able to show up for other people like that.

Unknown Speaker  52:22  
That's, that's really cool. That's, that's, thank you for saying that. Thank you for saying that. And Nathan, by the way, we're having to go to time. So we're going to take the next hour segment as well, if you don't mind. He's laughing at me. And he's he's saying, oh, oh, don't be silly. I have the switch. I can turn you off. Any moment, I can turn. I have the power. But we've only got like three and a half minutes left or three minutes left. So I want I'm gonna set myself aside and, and we'll start with Kim. Kim, I'd like you to and you said something beautiful yesterday on the podcast, go to www dot positive talk radio dotnet. And you can listen to that. But you have a minute to say whatever you'd like our audience to hear.

Unknown Speaker  53:06  
I'll share what I shared last night, then. And I spoke about it earlier. Don't wait to like them. And if you feel it's damning. Reach out to somebody else, because someone else is out there to fan that flame. So it can burn a little bit brighter. The world is a better place because you're in it. Don't ever think that that's untrue. Even on those really incredibly poopy days, that you are sitting in darkness, you might be on your knees on your living room floor, asking the universe or God or whoever it is that you're crying out to why? What's the point? What is the point of me being here? You might not have an answer. You might not get an answer right then. But a person is going to show up, you're going to get a text or a phone call, something is going to happen. Open your heart. Something is going to show up in front of you to remind you that you're needed and you're wanted. And you're here for a reason. There's a purpose for all of us. It's not easy to find that purpose, especially when you're mired down in your own muck. But there's a reason you're here so don't don't let your light dim. Got some tough couple months coming up for an awful lot of people. Watch out for your loved ones and your neighbors and your friends. If you see their light dimming over and fan their flame a little bit remind them of why they're here. Remind them that they're cared for remind them that they're loved, and give them hope.

Unknown Speaker  54:40  
Thank you cam and I want to remind everybody you're never ever ever ever alone. Dana your turn.

Unknown Speaker  54:47  
I just want to back that up and say push through the vulnerable fear of giving others hope. Giving others compliments sharing your light with people push through because you Never know what that actually can do for someone

Unknown Speaker  55:03  
I was so impressed with your with your hope rock that I was looking into buying some myself so that I could distribute them and and put them on on the podcast site so that people could buy them there so that they can share them with friends and family or Strangers.

Unknown Speaker  55:24  
Strangers yes that's how I share I've I haven't given them to friends or family yet.

Unknown Speaker  55:31  
I'd like to thank you by the way, your website again real quick again Kim is

Unknown Speaker  55:35  
Kim Ling Ling author.com and go to

Unknown Speaker  55:39  
inner world movement that COMM For Dana's information. I want to thank you all for being here. Positive talk radio.net is where I live. And by the way, be kind to one another because each other's all week. We'll see you Monday at 9am