364 | Journey to the Best Life with Lynne Harley!

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This is a production of K M media dot Pro. Welcome back to positive talk radio. Our goal is simple to explore evolving ideas one conversation at a time. So come on over into our world. I know you'll like it. Because on today's show, have you ever had a moment in time, a moment in your life, that was a defining moment for you. And it changed your perspective on everything. We've got a young lady with us today is going to be talking about that. She's a coach, a certified life coach. And in Life Mastery consultant. Her name is Lynn. Harley. And we're gonna be talking with her in just a second. But first, Eric, how are we today? Sir? We are good. I assume. My half is. Okay. How about the other half? When we I guess that would be? Well, I've had a doctor's appointment today, and I've got medication on the way that's going to make me all well and better. So excellent. Is Yes, indeed. So it's got to stay healthy. Yeah. Well, it's either that it's an RA. Well, in my age, you're way behind me. Because, you know, I gotta tell you, when he looks the same as he did 20 years ago, I don't know how the man does it. But he's, he looks really good. So he's zoom touch up. That's what I've seen you in person. I know better than that. So in any a thank you. Thank you, Eric. And there's not no traffic alerts or, or news or whether they but needs to be concerned about is we did all that before we brought you on. So yeah, don't don't sweat it. I know. We've got a great show ahead. So might as well maximize that time and talk to her a great guest. I think that's probably a good idea. In other words, you want to shut up and want me to go away. I don't want you to go away. And I'd have to fill it out myself. Yeah, and you wish you could do no problem because you're a professional. So that's that's really cool. When it's welcome. It's great to have you here. How and you're calling from the great province of Alberta. Right?

2:15  
Alberta? Canada. Yeah, we've got winter up here.

2:17  
Oh, how much winter is winter up there?

2:21  
No, actually, I have to say today it's milder. But sadly, it's quite icy outside because of that. So we've had quite a bit of snow and now it's kind of firing and cresting and probably freezing rains. So yeah, it's a little bit a little bit miserable out there for walking.

2:38  
Did you hear about Eastern United States and some parts and all the snow they've been getting?

2:45  
No, I haven't. But does it surprise me

2:48  
there have been some like snow storms that are like I've never seen anything as as, as much as that the accumulations are just in some areas are just amazing. So let's just another thing of the weather's starting to get weird, or you know, and went off this show with talking to you to the audience about. And I would like everybody who's listening, to really take that to heart and to think about it. Because I believe that all of us have had a defining moment in our life that has taken us in a direction, or in some cases of misdirection that has led us to where we are today. And I would love to talk to you about that, and about how we can get back on track. Because I think I think we all we all have done that at one point or another. And most of the people you work with, I'm sure have have come to you and said, You know, it's been this and and I've you had a defining moment. And, and I had the opportunity to do something great. And I didn't take it because I was scared or or it was my family said no, or, or things like that. Is that is that been true in your practice?

4:08  
Absolutely. I think for all of us, I mean, we're specially navigating some challenging life circumstances, you know, be at a diagnosis or change in health and or the death of somebody we love or job loss or the pandemic. You know, we're kind of, to me, I guess those are opportunities to lean in and really think about what we want moving forward. And so when I think about my own life, it's been it's been those defining moments that have caused me to decide for more and the clients that I've worked with, it's usually people who are, you know, going into retirement not sure what's next, I'm working with people who are coming out of cancer treatment. Excuse me. They've got this, excuse me, this little thing in my throat and they're not sure you know how life is gonna unfold moving forward, people have empty nesting or children have left home and their whole life up until then has been kind of defined about by those activities or, you know, involvement with their children. And so often it's those moments when we're kind of faced with that. Well, well, now what? And in often it is a defining moment that some something that causes us to get to that point.

5:21  
You know, I know that you've had that in your own life. But what's it like? I've never had this conversation? Hopefully, I won't. But I've never had the conversation with a doctor that's looking at you from the other side of the desk, saying, Well, you know, Lynn, we've got some not so great news for you. What your which was, in your case, a cancer diagnosis?

5:43  
Yeah, it was. Yeah, that was 20. I'm happy to say I have to think back almost 25 years ago, but didn't see it coming. I mean, I considered myself to be fairly healthy. And you know, I remember that day. So clearly. In fact, it was early December, and I was cooking supper, the kids were like, young playing in the living room, I was kind of listening to that, you know, background chatter. And then the phone rang. And it was towards the end of the day. And when I picked it up at most, my doctor, I was really blindsided because first of all, your doctor doesn't usually call you in person, unless he's got something important to say. And it had been sort of a routine test that had been repeated, because I'd had it six months earlier. But this time, he said, they determined that it was malignant. And wow, it was just, yeah, surreal, I'd have to say, the first few weeks, I just kind of walked around watching myself trying to digest it, you know, almost like an out of body experience. And then the other thing that happened for me, and it certainly isn't everybody's experience, but my my life just fell apart. So as I started treatment, over the next number of months, my marriage fell apart, I was in a business partnership with my husband. So suddenly, I was no longer in that partnership. I had three small boys. And so you know, my new definition of me was, here I am, I'm unemployed. I'm a cancer survivor. And I don't even know what my future is going to be like. And so my defining moment wasn't that phone call, my defining moment was, as I was preparing my home, to move in with my boys, I was painting in the bathroom, and I was up on the toilet kind of trying to get to the top of the ceiling. And I fell, and I fell hard. And I was alone in the house. And as I lay like, on the floor in a lot of pain, all of a sudden, I had this moment where I thought, you know, you've been so worried that cancer was going to take you out, this fall could have taken me out easily, just hitting my head the wrong way. And I mean, I was hurting a lot. And I kind of crawled out into the bedroom and laid there for a while. And that's when I thought I've been so worried about living with cancer. And this could have done it for me and life is finite. So it was a real moment of realizing none of us knows how much time we have. That's the truth. There's people that just don't wake up or they go to work. And you know, there's an accident, so. So I think it just really it really brought home to me that this experience of life is finite. And really all we have is this moment, you know, sort of this day, how am I going to live it and not to say we can plan for the future. But it was just a real wake up call for me. Well, you

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know, my mother recently passed away. She was 90. And she'd had a very full life and we're very grateful for the time she had and handle the relationships that she had with family and friends. And she played she wouldn't play bridge on Wednesday night. I talked to I talked to her I talked to her on Tuesday. And we had a set up deal where we talk once a week. And we have a conversation on Tuesday. She went to play bridge on Wednesday. She went out to dinner on Thursday, came home Friday night and sometime between Friday night and Saturday morning, she passed away. Nobody had slot coming. It was you know, when I when I got news from my sister, it was like we were both everybody was just stunned. But that's that's how it works is that you don't know when when you know. So my sister and I joke now that there's a we have our expiration date that is plant that is tattooed to the bottom of our feet, which I can't see the bottom of my feet, but I know it's there. And so when it's going to happen, it's going to happen. And so when it does happen, you don't want to be in a position to say, Oh, gee whiz, I wish I had done something else with my life that I didn't do and have any regrets on that last day. And some time to take somebody from the outside a friend As a coach, a mentor, somebody who is a consultant to help you deal with those things that are hard for you to deal with yourself. We don't talk about death very much in our culture, not from the standpoint of, by the way, it's going to happen to all of us. You know, I firmly believe I was talking to somebody last week, and I was like, you know, intellectually, I know that I'm going to die emotionally. And personally, I don't believe that for a minute. But there's going to be a day when somebody's going to read an obituary, or it's going to be going to be on a website, and that I that I left the world. And, you know, and that happens to all of us. I just don't want there to be any regrets. And that's sometimes those can be the defining moments of your life, would you would you agree with that?

10:57  
Yeah, for sure. And I mean, even hospice, nurses, you know, nurses and palliative care, they say, you know, when people are on their deathbeds, they're not what that's what they do. They regret what they didn't do, not what they did do. So, you know, we all are given the same commodity in the sense that when you wake up, and I wake up, we each all have 24 hours a day, right? So it's really what are we going to do with that time, and I think for me, you know, that was, obviously as I shared a number of years ago, that really set me on this path to want to lean into and I think live my best light. And then I had another defining moment, five years ago, you know, again, remember that day pulling my kayak out of the water, it was just the most beautiful summer day, you know, blue skies, blue water, yellow, water lilies all over, I was in my kayak, it was like my happy place. And I was thinking, What a perfect day. And as I pulled the kayak up to the shoreline, my phone rang, and my brother had been found dead. And this is my younger brother, and he had suffered from mental health his whole life. And so this, again, was one another one of those moments where it really caused me to go in. And I think, you know, again, as I continue to, I'm going to say mature in my life. I'm realizing like, my time, you know, I look ahead and think, okay, maybe 2025 years, like, let's be real, and hopefully, those years will be productive. And I'll be like, your mom, who is like playing cards and going out for meals the day before she decides to go to sleep and not wake up. And, and I just think that, you know, I, I, I feel almost an urgency now. Like I want to leave some kind of a legacy, I want to know that my life mattered for something. And so I think that that's been really powerful. For me, it is what can I do now moving forward. And the other thing that I believe strongly is, there is that desire in each and every one of us to live a bigger life. I mean, we're part of nature, everything in nature, you know, within, I mean, within my own structures of support with mentors, you know, we were talking today, and one of the universal laws is there are no failures in nature, like nature just has this continual way of becoming. So we know that, you know, the butterfly, the caterpillar becomes a butterfly, the acorn becomes an oak tree, you know, that there's just this becoming, and it's never static nature is never static. And I think that when people are feeling really stuck in their lives, that's often the cause of a great deal of unhappiness, because there's just this not moving anywhere. So

13:45  
what is it that holds us back?

13:48  
Oh, boy. Well, I would say it's our thinking. So I don't know if we're going to chat a little bit about the book I wrote, because it's got a really powerful message in it.

13:59  
Well, of course we are because I want people to go out and buy the book, because it can help them. And we're going to explain how it can help them right here.

14:09  
Yes, absolutely. So this book is actually what I coach adults through. And it's, I want to say it's the children's version. But I'm, you know, giving presentations using page seven of the book, to really talk about this journey of transformation. So this is about a caterpillar who, you know, ends up of course, being a butterfly, but he doesn't know it. So it's written from, I mean, it's written as a children's story. But the only thing that's different about this caterpillar from the rest of nature is that he can think so again, we know that nature doesn't think there's that, you know, it doesn't think itself out of anything. So when you said what stops us, it's usually just you know, very, most often I'm going to say unconscious belief systems that run the show. So in our mind, it's like a discreet big iceberg. We've have about a third of that I spurred that there's some awareness about our thinking. And it's often, apparently, we think, 50 to 80,000 thoughts a day, which pretty seems pretty crazy, amazing. It's amazing and apparently about, about what we are aware of would fit on the top of a pin. And what we're not aware of would fit a football stadium. So we have these patterns that we've picked up, you know, bite from well, meaning, sometimes parents and teachers, and some of those subliminal messages that we just kind of take on as we move forward. And we live within these comfort zones. And whenever we try to go big on them. And so this is what my little books about. So this caterpillar, who has been on a branch eating, you know, for weeks now, which is part of the journey of the caterpillar, they eat until they just can't eat anymore. And then and when he's on the branch eating, it's like, he's looking at this conditions, what's in front of him? Oh, you know, I've been doing this for weeks now, my life is so boring, you know, I want something more, I don't want to be leaves anymore. And I think about people who are stuck in jobs, they don't like you know, and they're in that condition, and I don't like my job, and I'm going there. And then suddenly, there's health problems, because they're not happy. And you know, there's sort of this snowball effect. And, and when he finally is done eating, he hangs upside down. And it's such a beautiful metaphor. So listeners, one of the most powerful tools for transformation, is to create a vision of what you would love. And so all of a sudden, this caterpillar is leaning, looking, he's looking up at the world, he's hanging upside down. And he's kind of looking at what other what other what else was happening in nature. And he's seeing like, squirrels, you can remember, this is a children's story, playing hide and seek, and this little mama Robins feeding her babies, and we'll go from there. There's a red headed woodpecker, and there's flowers. And so he's seeing all this life in this color around him. And he can he sort of sighs and he goes, I want more for my life. And I think, you know, we go through those cycles, where we look around, and I felt that way, coming out of the pandemic, I thought, you know, I want more for my life. I feel like I've lived a very small life for two years. And so then he hears from this inside voice. And what I love about this book, and I don't think there's enough stories to really share this with young children, is that we have that voice inside of us that that that still small voice we often hear called, or that voice of intuition, suddenly asking this caterpillar. Well, what would you love? If anything were possible? What would you dream of. And so when I work with clients, that's what we start with. And when we start to think expansively, we leave that condition based thinking which is based on our five senses. Well, this is what my bank account says I can do. And I think this is the hardest one to say jump for people to make is to realize that we are so resourced, and I have, I mean, I truly believe that we are spiritual beings having a human experience. But most of us only see ourselves as human beings having a human experience. Let's face it, this human life brings with it many conditions, none of us is going to get out of this, like you said, alive. None of us is gonna get out of this without having lost someone we love at some point. You know, I mean, it's just part of the human experience. There's adversity in this human experience. But also, if we we know how to navigate these with the right thinking, you know, and I don't want to use words that lose people like mindset, but it really is having the thinking to be able to, you know, kind of walk on water instead of be pulled down by it. And it was Eleanor Roosevelt who said, all the were all the water in the world had drown me unless it gets inside of me. But I think when people live solely from conditions, they're often just feeling like they're drowning all the time. Like they're putting out one fire after another. So this little caterpillar starts to think about what he would love. He goes, he doesn't say I want to be a butterfly, he just goes, I'd love to fly. So he's looking at what he has now. And again, if you don't know what your big vision is, start with what you do know. He's tired of being on a branch. And so he says, I'd love to fly. He's tired of eating leaves. He says, I'd love to drink the nectar from flowers, you know, he's just drag a little caterpillar that kind of blends in with nature. And he goes, I'd love to be so beautiful. You know that when I fly around, people are gonna point at me and they're gonna, they're gonna, you know, admire me. So he has this very big dream. And he is feeling expansive. So I'm fight anyone listening to put themselves into a time when you had a really big dream. And he falls asleep into this vision full of wonder, just like, you know, feeling what a beautiful dream I have. And then he wakes up and he looks around He goes, sadly, nothing's changed. And again, I mean, transformation doesn't happen usually that quickly anyways. But now, you know, in the book it says, now gone was that voice, you know, that was warm and loving and kind and now he's tearing from the voice that goes, Well, who do you think you are? Flying drinking nectar ha. And, and I even think about is me again, I'm getting over this little chest cough, cold. I think about if somebody landed on this earth from another planet, and you showed them a caterpillar, and you showed them a butterfly, and you told them, This caterpillar will become this butterfly. That would seem pretty audacious. And often, that's what happens in the past, when we have a really big dream, we get all excited about it, you know, maybe all of a sudden you're at work, and you're, you know, leaving, feeling like you're checking your soul at the door, you start thinking about, Oh, wouldn't it be great to be self employed? Wouldn't it be great if I could set my own hours and wouldn't be great if I could make a living? Doing my artwork that I love, you know, so you have this beautiful vision, and then all of a sudden you hear this voice that goes, Oh, get real? How are you? You know, and maybe that was the voice you heard when you were 10 or 11 or 12. And somebody said, You're never gonna make a living as an artist? Or you have one art teacher who says, What is this? And that's enough to shut a person down,

21:20  
right? Oh, yes. Been there myself?

21:23  
Exactly. So so this is what she This is what stops us. And this is the work of transformation. And this is why having mentorship structures and support, because it's so easy to claps back to what we know. You know, it seems like it's easy. And I was listening to a motivational speaker, but it's almost harder to maintain that comfort zone than it is, you know, I think about people who say, I've just never felt like I could be my true self until it's kind of hard to go through life not feeling really like you're authentically living your life, right?

22:01  
Oh, yes, yes. And you and you really have to You're right, it's a mindset. And you have to and you have to change your mindset into into what you would really like to do. As a matter of fact, I've got a story about that, that I'm going to tell in just a couple of moments. But go ahead, continue with what you're saying,

22:19  
Well, you can actually, maybe this is a good time to throw in your story, because it might anchor what I said,

22:24  
when I was doing the radio show, in 2003. And there is a whole story about how I got to do the radio show and, and, and where positive talk came from. And, and then I've been doing it for 20 years and, and stuff. And I would love to tell you that it was all puppy dog tails, and and, and, you know, bubbles and stuff. But it wasn't. It was it had some difficult things. But one of the things that I did there, I was part of a group of six. And we were all there was a program called Isagenix, and it was in a network marketing program. And we all were going to be mentored by a guy who was out of Vegas, and his name is Kirk. And he was a really, really, really good network marketing guy. And he took it upon himself to take the six of us under his wing, and to teach us how to do network marketing and be successful, how to make the agree because the products are really good. And they needed to be out there. But we needed, but he said, This is how you're going to do this. So the six of us were sitting around and and we're all on telephones, because this is way back when but we did telephone conference. And so he would tell us what to do. And we would go out, we will try and do what He told us to do. And we all would come back and say, you know, this is really hard. I don't know how I can't do this. This is this is really, really tough. It's you know, this is my goal. This is what I want. This is what I really love. But this is just ridiculously hard. And so we spent like three weeks, I got a call every day. And he will tell us, all right, I want you to go do this. And now I want you to go do this. And this is what you're going to do. And this is how you're going to be successful. Man, we kept on doing that. And we kept on saying it is really hard. I Kirk, I don't know if I can do this. But he said What do you want to you want this to be your career? Do you want it to be something that you've and I said I'm passionate about the products. I love them. And I'm passionate about doing this, but this is hard to get off the ground don't know how to do you know, and he was trying to help us? Well, one of the gals came back and we're finally able to six of the group. One of the gals Her name is Nicole. She came back one day after about three weeks of this. And she said you know, I've decided this is going to be easy. This is going to be fun. I'm going to have a good time with it. It's going to be easy, and it's going to work out fabulously for me. And we all said well right in the call, but this is hard to understand, you know, that's not doing well. She is now a multi miss, she's in like the top 40 of earn earners in that particular company, she's made well over a million dollars. And she's done it because she took the time and made the conscious decision that it wasn't going to be hard, it wasn't going to be difficult, it was going to be easy. And the steps that she needed to take, were going to be just perfectly fine. And she could do it. And it she was able to retire herself. She retired her husband, they're now living a great life. And they're continuing to do that work with that company because it's easy. And so that's what I would implore people to do is to rather than to say, I want to be, I want to have my own radio show all but now come on, it's hard, you've got to do this, you got to learn how to do this, you got to go buy the time, you got to do all this other stuff. And so people will tell you, No, you can't do that. That's too hard. You can't make any money doing that. What's the matter with you crazy? You got to stop that and say, No, this is easy. And this is how I want to spend my life. And do you agree with that? Is that Is that a good story?

26:20  
It's a great story, because it really speaks to the power of our mind. And the power of our thoughts. I mean, there's energy and every thought we think, you know, and seriously our thinking, which causes our feelings is what's going to cause us to take action, and that's going to determine our results. So if you're thinking this is hard, it's never gonna work, you're gonna walk around, pretty mopey, feeling like it's never gonna work. And you're probably eventually going to just give up and that's your result. So I think it was 40 said, you know, if you think you can, or you think you can't, you're right, it's really all up here between are yours. And that is the rigor. This is what I'm saying, you've got yours, I've got yours. This is one of the reasons I continue to be in a coaching environment and is in a system of support, because I don't even always see the picture. Because I'm in the frame. I don't see often how my own thinking is tripping me up. And but I'm getting way better at it. And I'm more aware of it. And what I want to share with listeners is, that voice doesn't go away. But in the book, there's the two voices. There's the voice that goes, Well, who do you think you are flying and drinking nectar Ha ha, you know, and so this is often what we hear, either from people who care about us who don't want us to get hurt, or even how we want to protect ourselves. And really, there's a word for these set of beliefs, you know, and habits are called paradigms. But it's like it's fighting for its life, to keep you with what it knows. So it's like we're when we want to move forward, we're breaking through to something the next level. And often because we don't know what's there, it's just so easy to collapse back to what we do know. And so yeah, I love that story. Because she made a decision, I'm actually reading the book right now the power of decision by Raymond Barker. And that's basically that, you know, and I just, I can go into a little bit about my biking trip that I did this summer. But if you even stop and think of the power, like I was crafting this story, because I was in a speaking event this weekend, about if I had not made that one single decision. I don't know if I would have ended up if things would have turned out the way they did, because it's almost like it started this chain reaction. You know, when we make a decision for our dreams, and we're really committed, we don't need to know the whole way. And I think this is another thing that trips people up well, I don't know how that's going to happen. They say, I don't know how to get there. But the way this universal energy works, I mean, there are laws in the universe. So let's think about the Wright Brothers, for example. They didn't create or discover gravity, it was always there. They understood as they fail over and over and over again, how to leverage it to get that craft off the ground. And so one of the this is a very spiritual, it's not a religious program, the work that I'm in and that a coach, but there are universal laws and when we understand how to work with them, it's amazing what happens.

29:31  
Yeah, truly is by the way we're talking with when Harley and if you go to her website, which is what's the website that they can find you best Lin

29:45  
l y n n e so my name is withany Harley H AR le y.com. So Lynn harley.com If you have questions, you can contact me through my website. I'd love to support you and talk to you more about this.

29:59  
And if you want I pick up the book. It's a children's book, but it's designed for everybody. It's called What if you could, and I love the title of that because you know, what if you could and we're going to talk more about that when we come back when you take a quick break, and then you're listening to positive talk radio right here on K K nw 11:15am. It Yeah, it's only a two minute break. So just stay right we are don't go anywhere. I promise there's going to be more Hold on.

30:27  
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31:56  
And welcome back to positive talk radio waves Monday afternoon is Thanksgiving week, I hope everybody's gonna have a really, really cool Thanksgiving. And get back to somebody else invite somebody who may not have the opportunity to have a Thanksgiving, invite them over to your house, if you're their friend of yours, and you know, they're going to be alone or something along those lines. Or if nothing else, you know, send them a turkey leg or something I don't know. But today, you know, let's let's work to take care of everybody. I gotta tell you, Lynn, because I have a story that happened to me that like quite literally changed my life. And I can take it from that moment. And it changed everything about what I was going to do who I became, and throughout my entire life. And I believe that happens to all of us, we have the opportunity to make a decision that is based upon, okay, so enough of that. So let me tell you a story. I'm 23 years old, I'm just kicking around. I've been in a restaurant management that that didn't go very well. And I was a waiter and I was a busboy and all that kind of stuff in there. So I was just kind of hanging out. And I had a friend who was also working at the restaurant, he was a captain, he made tableside Caesar salads and open bottles of wine, it was a fine dining place. And in so we had a lot of time. Those are those jobs are not, you know, 40 hours a week, they're like 20 hours 25 And, and you can make a living doing them. and stuff. So that's what we did. And then we would hang out at his house. It is his parents house, that is swimming pool, and we hang out around there. Well, sometime in early August. He said to me, you know, I think I'd like to go to Green River Community College where his father was a professor. And I would love to take auto body. And I and he said, Would you come with me. And we can take the auto body together. And I said, I hate cars. I don't want to do auto body, but I'll do it because it's you. And so we the day comes. Now this is all the way back before computers were really prevalent in schools. So we went back to two, we went to the school and you would line up. And then the in the cafeteria area that had a bunch of tables, where the different disciplines were, where you could either go into math or English or science or, or one of them was drama. And so we get, we get there and we're standing in line. And we're talking and we're having a good time and stuff get near the front of the line. And he looks at me just as clear as day and says, you know, I don't think I want to do this. And I said, Pardon me. You said I don't think I want to do this. I'm like I don't want to go to school right now. And then I said well, okay, and he said, I'm gonna go to my dad's classroom, do you want to come with me? And I said, Well, no, you know, and so it was that moment when I had So this decision to make this decision was, Do I go with him? To the classroom? Forget about school? And forget about all of that stuff? And, or do I pursue what I ended up doing? So I said to him, I said to him, Well, no, I'm gonna hang out here. And, and so I got to the front of the line, and the first table into this into this cafeteria. And there was a man sitting behind the table, and it was theater extemporary. And I said, you know, I love theater and in high school, so and there was nobody sitting at this table, oddly enough. So I went to a, I sat down with him. And we talked in the hand, I said, I'd like to learn about drama. And he said, Well, then I recommend that you take improvisational drama, and, and also join the theatre troupe. And it was that they'd already cast for the first show of the year. And so that that wasn't available. I said, Well, I would love to learn how to act. So I'll do that. He part of the deal with being in improvisational drama is you learned about characters, you're learning character, how to be a character and how to do stuff. Well, in the course of that, in, I'm learning about that, I developed a character involving a turtle. So it was a turtle was from a turtle to a caricature to a real person, as a turtle, and would have those features and that sort of thing. And the, so I did that in one of the theater classes. And it was it was really a well done thing. And a guy walks up to me and says, you know, the guy, his name was punky Givens he was going to be a target dark, dark at the top of the of the stairs, which was the show that we were doing that we are doing, and he dropped out, you would make a perfect punky Givens. And so she so I got into the theater group, I got to perform in the theater. And which led to three more plays that I did. And that's where I met my wife. And, and it completely changed the direction of my life. As a matter of fact, the last show that we did was Taming of the Shrew. And I was the lead I was Patricia. So apparently, I had some skills doing this. And one of the one of the characters worked at the radio station. And he said, Hey, would you want to do a show on like, on Sunday mornings? And I said, Well, sure, I'd love to do a radio show. That was the first time that I did on radio. And then and then I ended up over the course of my life that became my passion.

37:46  
I love that. Love your story. And you know, that's a really, I want to just share this again. So we talked already about the importance of coming from a vision. And people often say, Well, I don't I don't even know what I really want. And I think you nailed it. And in essence, what happened for me, when I made a decision to do this crazy cycling trip this summer, is I heard something that absolutely lit me up, I was ignited. And so we have this incredible GPS within our bodies. And you know, our thoughts and our feelings have a lot of power, because they can make us well. And they can also make us sick. I mean, think about people who worry, they get all sirs, or they lose their hair, or they you know, I mean, physical physical manifestations that come as a result of being, you know, living lives that are not fulfilling, or that you feel like you're under stress all the time. So start to pay attention to what really lights you up. And it might even be you know, I was thinking about my book about all of a sudden, this caterpillar, he looks out and he sees what other people are doing. And sometimes that's how it happens. So first of all, your friend led you to an auto shut up course, which didn't do anything for you. But no, sometimes we have to try things out and figure them out. But sometimes it might be a friend saying, Oh, I just you know, saw this movie about somebody who went on this Pacific Coast Trail. And then and this is what happened for me and I just went, I'd love to do that. Like all of a sudden, you know, a dream was born. So just again, a little bit of coaching here for people who are listening is to really in lean into what makes you come alive. You know, because there's, again, this isn't religious, but there's even a proverb that says, people without a vision perish and what perishes is our aliveness. And I think it was also Thurman who said Don't ask what the world needs. Ask what makes you come alive and go do that because the world needs more people who have come alive. And I love that just think if we were all living our passion, what a different world we'd be in right we wouldn't

39:59  
have time to kill each other, or do any of the things that we do that are that are negative,

40:04  
just be loving each other because we all feel so good about our lives, right? It's just just like positive talk radio. I mean, I just want to applaud you for having this forum to talk about positive things. Because there's an energy i Everything in this world, I mean, quantum physics is showing us that we live in a field of energy. And so the more we put out, the vibration we put out is really what we draw back to us. So if you're always focused on everything that's going wrong in your life, what's not working, you're it's like a prayer. It's almost like you're saying to the universe, okay, this is where my attention is. So I guess I'm asking for more. So this is the rigor is starting to really watch what goes through your mind. And I just want to share something about so this book is really about this internal dialogue between this voice that's going well, what if you could in the one that goes, Well, who do you think you are, and I was recently talking to my son who's 34. And I loved his feedback, because sometimes as parents, I just want to say this to other parents. When you're living your life, largely, you are a wonderful mentor for your kids. And my son said to me, you know, Mom, I think one of the most important things you ever told me, and I'm surprised even I didn't even remember it, but somewhere is that I don't have to listen to that voice. And so my book and my journey this summer, was because I'm so passionate about mental health, and I'm really doing this in celebration of my brother's life. But I think that when we live with mental health and wellness, we are able to not give credence to that voice. And I think we need to normalize this for everybody that that voice is there, it's going to always be yakking at you. I don't, you know, I'm gonna say I'm fitting this work for a long time, and I'm really aware of it. But it's not stopping it. So, nope. So that's so just know that know that it's going to be there. It's going to be a player. But when you really can tap into your vision and keep your focus on that. It's kind of like you're saying, okay, fear, I know you're there. But get in the backseat, because I'm driving the car here.

42:15  
Exactly. Tell us about the bicycle trip. Well, I had this desire

42:19  
for more life. And so this one seemingly small decision to join a cycling event led me to meet this woman who had done long distance touring, you know, and even when I put myself out there, I was new to the community before the pandemic, I signed up, I had to RSVP on meetup. And there was still that thought about do I really want to go I'm not going to know anybody. I don't know where it is. And then I went, No, you RSVP show up. And then I go there and I meet. Somebody had never met in my life. And she's she's cycled with all her panties across Canada. And I was like, Oh my God, the more she shared her stories and her adventure, I was coming alive. And I knew that feeling like I mean, I paid attention to it. So I get in my car to drive home. And I was this was me first and I said, Oh my god, I'd love to do that. And then I hear all the reasons why it's so impractical. When you've got no experience, you never get on the bike more than 25 kilometres, let alone getting it on the second day in a row, you've got no equipment, you've got no touring bike, you've got your destination. And then you know, fear just screened get real in, you know, you're 66 years old, how far do you think you're gonna go? So this was what was going on inside of me. But again, this vision, so I heard that voice, but I put myself back in like, I saw images of me pedaling and, you know, listening to this woman's stories, like, what if that could happen for me. And again, I just felt this coming alive. And then my voice, my kind voice went, Lynn, you've only got one life to live, decide for your dream, do it afraid. So I think that that's something that I want to really, you know, anchor for people is that if you're moving out to something new, you're gonna hear from that voice that wants to stop you. And that's the voice of fear. And so just acknowledge what that means is you are on your green growing edge. So you almost celebrate Oh, there you are fear, I must be getting ready to grow. So there's a reframe. Just like your friends said, it can be easy, right? I can do this. Instead of saying, oh my god, I got so much anxiety about this, and how is it ever gonna work? You could celebrate and say, you know, I don't even need to know the way and this is another thing I share with people is if you're driving in the dark from one city to the next, you only need to see as far as your headlights take you. And when you get to the next point, you're going to know exactly where to go. Right. And this is what happens just like you shared there was a snowball effect when you made a decision to follow your passion that led to you know, the acting classes that led to meeting your partner that led to meeting you getting on the talk show, and it's just continued and I think that If we can understand, when we're living our best life, and we're living in the energy again, think about the positive energy of waking up and going, I love I love going to positive talk radio, you know, I get to meet amazing people, I get to share positive vibrations all around the world, that you're bringing more of that back to you your drawing, you're inviting that back to you. The I just

45:23  
have to tell you that it is amazing that since I've been doing this show that, that I've had the opportunity to meet some absolutely incredible human beings, and and to really enjoy the coming out of what they're talking about. And then meeting people like you, which is really a lot of fun. How long? Now? How far did you bicycle and you had gone 25 kilometers before how far I heard that you did a whole bunch more than that.

45:50  
Well, actually, I set out on the 19th of June, exactly five years from the day I got my news regarding my brother. So this really did become a celebration of his life. And I made a decision for my book, I was prepared to Self Publish. And then I set off on this loaded bike and I want everybody who's listening to know, I was terrified, I actually had myself plugged into some mantras, some music, so that I could like, kind of block out the semi trucks that were blasting by me and stuff. But I'm happy to say that two months and 17 180 kilometers later, I reached my destination which was to drive into Quebec, in Canada, I went through four provinces, and I actually ended my ride on Parliament Hill, which would be like, I guess, the White House, we call it Parliament Hill in Canada in Ottawa. And, you know, I just want to say to when you talked about things being hard, I can just attest that everything you want is on the other side of fear. And fear is really up here. It's a construct in our minds, of all the reasons why it can't work. And so, you know, I look back and I think, you know, this became an opportunity to fundraise for mental Youth Mental Health is a beautiful website. Even though it's in Canada, the website has resources that support anybody in the world, I just want to share this, especially before we end, they're called jack.org. So Jack is actually the son of a couple who committed suicide in his first year at university. And his parents said, they had no idea that he struggled. And so they made it their mission, they took something challenging, and they pulled a gift out of it in for the world. And so they have an online course that's there for anybody. It's free, it's self paced, and it's called be there. And I know that the holiday season is not Hallmark Christmas cards for everybody. It's often a time when people feel isolated, or lonely, or not in good mental health. So this is an opportunity, this free tool to even do an assessment on yourself. If you're struggling and know that you're maybe this is yes, I need to reach out and try to get some support from me. Or if you're supporting someone you love, and you know they're struggling, this resource will support you as to how to be there for them so that you can support them to get help. It's not about doing the intervention yourself. But sometimes people don't really know what to say, you know, are and people are afraid to talk about it because they don't want somebody just to say, Oh, get over it or you know, some of those platitudes that we offer. I wanted to share that as a resource as we're getting into well, thanksgiving for you in the States, which I know is a big holiday. But this Christmas season, sometimes january, february can be a really tough time for people. Those are the months with the highest suicide rates. So my book in this ride really has become just the opportunity to really be this passionate advocate to change things right now, one in 25, one in four deaths with our young people are caused by suicide. And I think that's unsettling. You know, something has to change here. And we need to really provide that support for people.

49:13  
What is the name of that website? Again,

49:15  
it's Jack. So the name Jack J ac k.org.

49:21  
That's really simple. Go to jack.org. I also wanted to make sure that because you're right, the holiday season is a very difficult time for a lot of people. If you are struggling, and you're in the United States, you can call they've made it simple 988 And that is a crisis hotline. And that will get you somebody that can help you. So 988 drill simple or go to jack.org and you can and you can work through that. That whole situation because we all need each other. We all need to take care of each other and we need each other because we're social animals. And what does aren't, you know, we all none of us is perfect. We all wanted to do the best we can for each other, or we should want to do the best we can for each other. Do you know you're a remarkable lady, you know that?

50:11  
Thank you? Well, I think I'm doing what I love for sure. I absolutely believe in what I'm doing. I, this book I just want to say was a download. And you know, again, pay attention to what comes up in your mind. There's an author that I love Christ Pritchard. And he says, you know, possibilities are abundant, and they live everywhere they live in the quiet of your desperate longing, and in the desire of the dreams you carry in your heart. And he said, What if they're not just ideas, but divine inspirations searching for some mortal soul you to give them a fighting chance to be realized. And I think that's what that book was, for me. There was some talk about, you know, who am I to do this, but I really believe that we are messengers in this world, and we can share our life with other people,

50:59  
you have the we all have the ability, you absolutely, as a human being have got the ability to be able to do anything in your life that you wish to do. And I will tell you, from my personal experience, and it's long, long, long, long, and it's but it's, I can go from point A to point to point and I can prove that that's the way it is. And the universe will support you, and it will back to you. And you can call them God. You can call them spirit, you can call them the universe, I don't care. But it will support you in everything that you're trying to do. As long as you don't do one thing, you know what that thing is laying yourself out of it. Never quit?

51:44  
Actually, can I share one, I hope I got time because this is such a powerful quote. And again, do you do you do okay, it builds on what you said. And this is Robert Collier, who is another favorite author of mine. And again, what you just said, we are so more resource than we know there's a power that's breathing, each of us think about it, we don't breathe ourselves. And we have to understand that we're more resource than we know and loved more than we can imagine. And he writes, you know, again, this idea of nature, he says, if the principle that is life, so this energy in the universe is so strong, that in the tiniest of an animal that can develop a shell or a poison to meet a need, can teach a bird to circle and Dart and balance and fly. If this blows me away, it can actually grow a new limb on a spider to replace the last one, how much more can it do for you.

52:35  
Same thing with an octopus, if they can lose it, they can lose an arm and it'll grow back.

52:40  
Power will, you know, this is the thing if it will do that for a spider. And here we are this, you know, animated human being with spirit and soul. You know that same power is there for us. And this is what we have to lean into.

53:00  
And if you believe that you are good enough, and that you deserve, the best that the universe can provide for you, is amazing. I'm telling you, I have a personal and personal authority. It'll just show up. And when I want to thank you so much for being here, by the way, again, go to get the book, one if you could.

53:25  
Yeah, and reach out at my website. I'm also a public speaker if you anywhere in the world that can happen. So you can go to my website to bring me in to be a keynote. In any event, I would love to share my story with others.

53:40  
And your website again is

53:43  
www dot Lin l y n n e Harley like the motorcycle H AR le y.com.

53:52  
It's a play. It's my ultimate pleasure to have you here and we're gonna have you on the show again. It's It's great fun, and we didn't we didn't allow time for calls. But if next time we will, we will do that. If you want to give us a call. We'll be able to talk to you about what Linda's and but I tell you that bike ride you must have been just exhausted and thrilled when you were done with it.

54:15  
I was empowered and I felt so alive. Yeah, it was an amazing experience. And I'll tell you it wasn't without its trials. I had a biking accident. I survived a tornado. Some dogs run out at me on the highway. But I was so supported. I met the most amazing people that I've just got like this whole plethora of wonderful friends now strangers at one time this summer who now just invited me to their homes they fed me they Yeah, patched me up after my biking accident. Yeah,

54:48  
you almost got chased down by a tornado.

54:52  
Very bad to send you some pictures. Yeah.

54:55  
Oh, good. It's it's kind of like kind of like Got the witch in the Wizard of Oz. Anyway, so trying to get away from the tornado but thank you so much for being here. It is my pleasure to have you here and we're going to have you on again if that's alright with

55:12  
you my absolute pleasure to be here and I just love what you're doing in the world, Kevin. So, kudos to you. And you know, happy Thanksgiving everybody and know that gratitude is one of the most expansive feelings you can live in. So just dig down we can always find something to be grateful for no matter what's going on in our lives.

55:33  
That's a great way to end it. By the way, everybody, thank you for tuning in. We'll be back Wednesday and for Be kind to one another because you know what? each other is all we've got Wednesday.