388 | How Christina Cewe empowers other people!

0:00  
This is a production of km media dot Pro. Welcome back to positive talk radio. Our goal is simple to explore evolving ideas one conversation at a time. So come on over into our world. I know you'll like it. Because on today's show, you know, it's a brand new year and we're gonna start out the New Year. Absolutely. in the right fashion. We've got a wonderful author, singer, songwriter performer, she's done some great things in her life. She's with us for the entire hour. And we're going to talk to her. And by the way, as just a bit of a tease. She was on a famous program in their inaugural seasons and maybe was one of the reasons why they were on the air for so many years because of the type of singer that she is. And first of all, I got to talk to Nathan though. Nathan, how are you?

0:58  
Good afternoon, of course, you gotta talk to me. I haven't seen you all year. Where have you been?

1:03  
I know it's been such a long time. A long time. And it's great to be here. Like I said, it's 2023 it's a brand new year and but I do have to make one small statement that within I hope this isn't too much of a downer, but over the weekend, I understand that Dorie Monson, who was the he was on Cairo for when I was when I was doing my show in 2003. He was doing three hours a day at the same time frame on Cairo and and he passed away at the at the age of 61 rather suddenly. And so I just want to say, you know that we all mourn him I did not agree with him politically, but that doesn't matter. Because he was a he was a professional what he did, and cared about his craft and was there for a long time and i My heart goes out to his wife and his three daughters. He led a good life. And, and I you know, I heard about that Nathan over the weekend. And I was like, No, I can't be

2:13  
especially at that young of an age.

2:15  
I know. I know. But you know those things happen and so you live your life everyday to the fullest. And to make sure just another another reminder never leave your house without telling the people that you love that you love them. And make sure you give people hugs and and stuff because you never know when it's going to be your time and you're not going to be able to do that anymore. So so again Dorie Monson passed away and, and Mike our condolences from I believe in everybody KK and W. That we are, you know, your our condolences to him and his family. So even that, but you know that, but we are very, very lucky today because we've got a young lady. And she's, she's still very young lady, but she was on American Idol in their first season. And you may remember her name Kristina Christensen. Is that right? Christian? Christian, Christina Christian, and she that's right now it's, and now it's Christina and Christian siwi. She's an author. She's got a beautiful children's book. But I got to talk to you. I would be remiss if we didn't talk a little bit about American Idol. That was a that was a remarkable period in your life. You were just barely out of your teens. Were you?

3:35  
Yeah, I had just turned 21 So it was a very adventurous time and

3:45  
being 21 and beyond, because you were in the top 10 Didn't they take you on tour?

3:49  
We did. We went on tour, I actually was one of the four that had a record deal with the company and put a record together and, you know, was able to really have fun in the career for a couple years before I decided to to settle down with my then husband who was my fiancee during the show.

4:11  
No, I have to ask you, because very few of us ever get the opportunity to do what you did there. And to go on a national show like that and and it was the first season so you didn't know how successful and successful it was gonna be. Did you

4:25  
know I mean, we it my husband's like, oh my god, there's this show, you should audition and we auditioned and it was like, you're in college. You know, try this and you just go for it. Right? And, you know, we heard it was the first season we heard there was gonna be a lot of work for us to do which there was we had early mornings where we wake up and film commercials remember those four commercials if you saw those board edge commercials at the time and you know, doing early morning talk shows it was really a fast introduction to Hollywood, and that Hollywood Life. And we really contributed to the success of the show. We knew we had to make it a success. We heard about it. I don't want to say the pressure was on but the pressure was on.

5:10  
Of course. Well, yeah. And then and with Simon Cowell there and, and Paula and the Yeah. Randy Jackson, who is a you know, producer of big time producer. Yes. And Paul, of course, Paula Abdul was a singer songwriter. What? Mostly a singer, and and stuff. And then and then Mr. Cow, and we were talking beforehand. And you said Mr. Cow was actually a very nice, unlike his persona. Sometimes. He was a very, he's a very nice individual.

5:44  
Very nice. He's, I mean, he's a straight shooter. And I think that's when he was on the show. Good, bad or indifferent. Like if you were having a bad day, like I had a bad day and he was like, that just wasn't great. And then on my day, is that he said, he thought I was great. He told me and I think everybody felt like there was authenticity with him. And that was that was nice. Like you knew where you stood.

6:04  
Well, and I have to tell you, because Nathan is a wizard that he is. He has been able to pull up a clip of you singing Can we can we play that?

6:13  
Well, we got a few options I got ain't no mountain at last and

6:20  
no sunshine. That was like the big one. But

6:22  
okay, let me find that. Oh, yeah, I got it here.

6:28  
That would be that would be fun to take you back. Because this was what do you What year was this?

6:35  
So long ago?

6:38  
Oh, come on. You didn't it wasn't that long ago when I was doing the radio back then in 2002. But

6:47  
it's what do you want? Again, that's what I think of him like to be 21 like,

6:52  
boy wasn't? Well, you know, and when we let's play this clip, because I want to ask you, what was it like having you know, all those people cheering for you, and then people holding your coat and riding in a limousine and doing I assume all of those things, the red carpet and and all of those things that you participated in diversity that would be really heavy stuff for a 21 year old?

7:17  
It definitely was it was kind of like when you when you have a child and you're looking at life through their eyes like going through that was kind of like all the celebrities that you saw on you follow like obviously didn't have social media but like you saw them in the magazines and the celebrities that I was obsessed with as a young child, you know, you're like, Wow, is this this is kind of kind of what they went through. Right? We weren't at that level, but it was it was really neat to experience and to also see the other side of it, which is it could be stressful for celebrities Right? Like it's something that is something that you're thrown into and there's a lot of things that are unexpected that come at you and it's a very different world than the normal life

8:02  
point okay. So anyway, so this is Christina Christian and this is the name of the song again is

8:12  
was this ain't no oh sorry. I'll let Nathan said another Chinese point we got Ain't no sunshine Very good. This is from American Idol. no sunshine when he's when he's away no sunshine and he's long and he goes away I wonder if he's gone no sunshine and he goes away Oh, no, no, no, no, no no no. No sunshine he goes away he goes he goes away.

10:00  
A bat is Christina Christian. And I gotta tell you, boy, do you have some pipes on you?

10:09  
You? Thank you.

10:11  
That is amazing. Do you still sing like that from time to time in the cars.

10:19  
I've done stuff after leaving idle, like obviously, I was in the business for about five years, like doing acting and singing, and then had my first child and did some stuff after that for, for people and traveled and did work. But you never, you never lose your love. If you love singing, you always sing. And so I still do. And my middle son is actually a singer and loving seeing him develop his voice. So

10:47  
that's pretty cool. That's it, that is really cool. Because you also kept your feet on the ground, and then let it get to your head, and you wanted to have a family. And so you wanted to build a family unit. And so that's what you did. I think that's, that's awesome.

11:08  
I give the credit to my husband now, to be honest, like, I wasn't somebody that was like, oh, I need to have children. He was really like, I want to have this family. I want to have children. And he wanted to have 10. And I said no. We ended up with three, which was nice. But yeah, we've we've built a nice life. And it's, it's really, it's really wonderful. We just actually came back from a drive we're celebrating 19 years of marriage tomorrow. We just We just took like a couple hours and went driving and just looking at the ocean, I love sunsets. So we just saw this magnificent sunset, on our way back. And those are the things we enjoy. Just chasing light and giving light and being light in each other's lives.

11:50  
19 years is, can be a long, long, long, long, long, long time. But it doesn't have to be what's your secret to keeping your marriage vibrant.

12:03  
You know, it's I say chasing adventures together. Because we've been together 24 years, we met the first day of college in 1999. So we're going on 24 years dating, or being together, and you're gonna have ups, we've had great ups, we were in an up down, we've had downs, we've had stressful times. I mean, having kids is not easy. But I think it's communication. Understanding that, you know, you're different people, and that you have to grow separately, as well as growing together. And just being adventurous, we love to travel. And we love to plan things. And we're always like, the both of us are always keen on celebrating life, right and just enjoying every day. So he doesn't stop me from going after things that I want. I don't stop him from going after things that he wants, you know, and just enjoying life together. I don't think there's any secret, but that's what we do.

13:02  
Well, but that that is a secret in and of itself. Because you as you're growing, you know, you get married and you're in your low early 20s. And, and stuff and you're not growing yet. It takes a while for you to grow up, and you really don't grow up until you're in your 30s somewhere. And so working together and growing up a lot of people because they don't keep that relationship centered in their in their world, they grow up and grow up separately, and then they grow up apart. And then they don't they don't take the time to stay together. And that's it that takes work in and of itself.

13:41  
A lot of work. And I think like, especially when we were younger, and you look at Hollywood, right Hollywood glamorizes the fantasy, and a lot of times we've talked about even my friends and his friends like it's not the fantasy is really the work that you put in, like the ups and the downs and, and sticking through it. Because it's a lot of work. Life itself is a lot of work relationships out of you know, like having a best friend or parent child relationships. Like that all takes work. And I think sometimes we think that like a husband, wife or boyfriend girlfriend should be easy all the time. And we have this misconception that should be easy. And I think that's what throws a lot of people they're like, Oh my God, who was supposed to be easy. It's not, you know, a fairy tale all the time and understanding that and realizing that things might get really rough. You might you might wake up one day and not like the person for like a month or two months or a year. Right? But that's okay. Choosing you've chosen this commitment and choosing to love the person and choosing to be with the person means that you're choosing to deal with the bad stuff and the good stuff. You know, throughout life.

14:52  
You know, interesting you say that because I was watching the interview with Michelle Obama. And she said when the children will alone, I went 10 years and I didn't like him at all.

15:08  
Now, they've been married for 30 years. And she said, we got through it. But there was a period when I thought he was not my good friend at all. And the you know, and that's, but when you have that commitment, and you can make it through it, at the end of the day, it's better than would have ever been, if you if you'd have broken up, but any in any enough of that, I'm just so happy that you're here, I can talk to you for hours, it's really important. But there, we're here for a reason. And the reason that we're here is we're going to talk about the book that you've read, which is a children's book, and I just loved the title of it getting to share the title of it with everybody,

15:45  
I believe in me, do you believe in you, I'll show you really quick. Yeah, it's been a beautiful, I would say just beautiful project, because it started out of just wanting my eldest son who's just turned 17, Christmas Eve, when he was two and a half, you're starting out in life, you're starting out with these little peewee sports, and you're, you're doing all these things, and you're teaching him to count and the first kid, right, you're trying to do everything fast. But you realize, like, kids need competence, like, they need to be competent, and you need to as a parent to build that confidence in them. So I had written a poem for him to build that competence. And that's what this started out as was a poem. And I wanted to truly build that narrative of belief itself. And I thought about turning it into a book many times, finding an illustrator is hard, you know, good illustrator that can take your ideas out of your head and produce them the way you see them in your mind. Right. And it took me a long time but

16:53  
and this was produced was illustrated by Ross Webb, I'm just running.

16:58  
Yes. And she's from Ireland. And she's amazing, really, like, she was like the fifth person that I found. And I had gone through three or four iterations, I'd paid other illustrators, and I, she just got me, she totally got me. And we were able to do it. Like during COVID, I call this one of the COVID blessings, there were some tough times during COVID. But this was a blessing for me to be able to complete it, to find somebody to connect with somebody, and to be able to provide this for others. So it's been, it's been fun.

17:32  
Well, the premise of the book, I believe, in me, do you believe in you is is a horribly important aspect, especially for young people as you're growing up the because if you don't believe, if you don't believe in yourself, you'll you're not going to achieve everything that you came here to do. And it's really, it really is important, what made you think about, I noticed that you have the poem. And then you thought, well, you know, maybe I could do more. And then it became, then I became a book.

18:03  
So when I voted, we used to say it all the time, right? My my son, and I, my husband, like, and I was like this, somebody, I think somebody was like, you know, this would be good for other people. And I was like, I agree. But like, I didn't know that process. Like I knew I don't want singing, but like, I was 28 years old, at the time. And I'm like, What's the process of publishing and things are just different than it was a lot harder. So I did get a copy written, I started looking into illustrations. But you know, I always felt like this message, I use it for my other two kids as well. And I was like, we all need this, regardless if you were a child or an adult, because you meet adults that don't have the belief in themselves, right? To do things. And I looked at my life, and I was like, Why was I able to, like my husband came to me and said, Oh, there's a show, you should try out for it. Not think twice about doing it. And was really, because my parents always like they instilled that competence in me. And they always said, You can do anything that you want to do. You just have to work hard and believe you can do it. So I had heard that my whole life. And I was like, that's why I was able to accomplish so many of my dreams. That's why I wasn't or didn't succumb to fear when chasing dreams that I had. Because fear isn't bad, right? You feel you get nervous. You're like, oh my god, can I really do this? But if you have that narrative of belief in yourself, you say yes to the fear, I'm gonna I feel the fear. I'm gonna do it anyway. Right. And that comes from the competence in the narrative of belief. So I think it was just like, you know, years of saying, this is needed. And then you go through COVID and just the mental health that you saw, like, and I saw it within my family. I saw it within friends, family, that's that. I knew like it took a toll on all of us, right? And it was like if we're going to get through tough times, we need to have a strong belief itself. For anything for you to get up the next day. You see people that are struggling to get out. up, right, like the next day. Why? Right. And I just wanted to give, you know, the idea that I had, which I felt works for my family and worked for me to others.

20:12  
It's amazing how many people in that are walking around in our world that did not have that. The luxury of that growing up. And they had difficult times, and they did not have people that were that believed in them, like your parents believed in you. And so generationally, your parents believed in you, you believe in your kids. And so it's continued on through several generations. But there are other people that could benefit from this message, because some of them have never heard this, if you can believe it.

20:42  
And it's amazing, because since it's been out, I've heard things like that there was a parent that said, this is the first time I've been able to have the conversation with my child. Right. And like you say, like, my parents taught me this. So it was easy in a way for me to teach my children. This, you know, this belief itself, but if you've never heard that, it's not an easy thing, right? To start the conversation. So for the mom that said that, like, you know, this book allowed me to have that conversation with my child was really touching. Because you don't realize, like, I don't, I'm getting chills, but like, yes, when things come easy, and you have it, sometimes you take that for granted, and not realizing how many people didn't have that. And it wasn't because their parents were bad people or whatever, but they might not have been taught that. Right. And like you said, it's generations if the, if the generation before you wasn't taught that. And if you didn't learn it within your generation, the chances of you teaching the next generation is slim. So or not, right?

21:45  
Because it's, it's my n is really, in my opinion, is vital that we change our thought pattern about that, because part of the problem is that, you know, young people are the ones who have children. And young people don't know a whole lot. And they only know what they've been taught from the previous generation. And so if you want to make a change in your family, somebody has to begin that change. And it's got to be when you have the ability to make change, and others. And that's what I love about the book that you've written, you know, I was just thinking to myself, this book has the potential to help more people than when you were singing on American Idol.

22:26  
I hope so. I mean, I think the message not to take anything away from idol but I think the message is definitely stronger and more impactful. Right?

22:34  
I couldn't agree more. Somebody's gonna pick it up. Matter of fact, Nathan, why don't we open up the phone lines because, uh, you know, I I'm hugging Christie and also myself. And I really if you have a question for her about the book about anything that she's done, we will take your call and Nathan will vet you clearly is to make sure that you have only you'll take care of you Christina promised. Me even who what number Shall we have them? Give me Give them the right number this time?

23:10  
Why did I give them the wrong number last time? Did they end up calling like pizza joint and wondering why they were getting a pizza ordered or something like that?

23:20  
Exactly. That would be that you know, we should do that sometime. That will be fun.

23:24  
Alright, anyway, to give us a call at positive talk radio to call in and ask Christina see we a question a children's book author, you can call us at 425-373-5527 or toll free at 1-888-298-5569.

23:43  
Now, I also want to ask you about something else that you are doing, young lady and that is in that I see I can I'm to the point now where I can call everybody young. So you know, but you also work with you encourage the growth of women in technology. Tell me about that.

24:00  
Yeah, so I work within the technology field and I've been in this field for about 12 years. We are looking for more women to enter it because it's a field that is male dominated. Nothing is wrong with that. But it is definitely a field that stimulates your mind. It's one that allows you and has allowed me to be financially successful. be impactful be there for my family, just the way the technology field works. A lot of times a lot of times you work from home right so it's allowed us for years prior to COVID to have that that work life balance. And it's fun like you the company I work for created content delivery CDN. So the ability to stream which is impact our life, right?

24:50  
It's huge. Yeah.

24:52  
So I've worked for the company occupied for about seven years and you know, we impact your daily life we sit Your life we allow this to happen, right zoom. Technology wouldn't have been here without content delivery technology. So I just, I hope more women are less intimidated by the field and embrace it and come into it. And so I'm always evangelizing for more women to come into our, our field.

25:22  
Now, I don't know if this is politically correct or not, but I'm just gonna say it anyway. And that is that I, I believe that when we have any field that is dominated by one sex versus the other, that we're missing out on the wondrous variety of thought and expression, and an understanding that can come from both both sexes at the same time. And I think that we as a, as a society would be better off if we had more diversity and more equality, including that, by the way, women should be getting the pays and pays man. But and so dude, am I being politically incorrect? Did you agree with that?

26:07  
Kevin, I wish, you know, the whole world thought like you, right? Like there's, there's a beautiful thing, like just what you're saying. And then in the diversity of people, we all have different experiences. And when we're able to bring that to the table, there's different problems that can be solved, because of the experiences that either I have, or you have or somebody else, right, we all bring that knowledge. And I think releasing the fear and just saying, How can we find a solution together? To me is, is the better way to do it?

26:38  
Oh, I agree. No, no, in the last hour, I was talking to my guest about the value of our experiences through life, and how our experiences make who we are, who we are. And there's a lot of things in life that I could be being a pregnant mom ain't one of them. You know, so there are things that I'll never know about. But there are other people that I can rely upon, who do know about the experiences that they've had, that I haven't had, and we can work together to achieve a better outcome for everybody. If we work together for that. So yeah, and I'll get off my soapbox,

27:16  
no, but like, you can't be a pregnant mom. But you can be the vessel to communicate to other pregnant moms the you know, opinions of other, you know, providing that information that somebody might need, like, you never know, what you can teach somebody. And I'm a big really, really, I learned something new from anyone every day. Like I really believe it doesn't matter what background where you come from what you're doing, whether you're a CEO, janitor, or whatever, right? Like, I feel like I can learn something from everyone every day, you always have the ability to learn from someone. And so I don't think you need to necessarily have the experience. But if you've learned from somebody else's experience, you can always share it with somebody else.

27:53  
And that is really the point. I think the point of why we're here is to help help each other understand everybody's experiences, because nobody, no two people have the same exact experience. But we can all work together. But as an example, your parents treated you in a certain way that benefited you greatly as you matured and grew and grew up. You so somebody needs to take that, who is about ready to have children. And and to use that model to buy as an example, buy your book. And because it will help them change the generational structure of their family going forward. And that could change everything for generations to come. It's a big deal.

28:39  
I you know, you're my it's all about giving light, right and my light I feel why was I provided the parents I was provided, right? And it could be for this exact reason like to give back what I was given, right to pay it forward. And I tell my parents every day like you guys gave me such a great blueprint that I rely on, right? I always tell my mom, if I can be the same. If I can be half the mom, she was I'm doing something good. Right. And my father is, to this day an advisor for me. I mean, every day we talk and it's and as I got older, I didn't realize how many people didn't have that, you know, especially from both parents, some, some might have had it from one, you know, and a lot of people just didn't have that. And that for me is something that I realized and want to give back to others like I mean, I've always been somebody like I'm a helper right like, I always want to help others and I want to share and that's really why I wrote because this isn't this isn't any way going to make me rich or take care of my bills. This is really I call it my passion project. Like I self published this. I took on this class because I felt like the message is so important, I've seen it impact my children. And I've seen this message impact my cousins, because our family, you know, believes this. And I think it's important for our world to have belief, like for our children to believe in themselves.

30:15  
I couldn't agree more. And you know what the, the interesting thing is, and I was just sitting here thinking, going, boy, are you a grounded person, and you're you, you are really grounded in your faith and who you are, what you believe your family, everything about you. And I was thinking, Gosh, you are 21 years old, when you are on Idol. You are traveling the country with a troupe of people, and we're performing in front of 1000s of people. There are people that that were in idle, that did not do as well with that. And they didn't handle it very well. What was it? Was it your parents upbringing that allowed you to handle it with the amount of grace and style that you did and didn't go off the deep end? And do some of the things that some of the others did?

31:03  
You know, I have to, I definitely have to give it to my mother, my father, my grandmother, who passed on when I was 13, like, Was somebody too, but I. There was a couple of us like, I remember this one time, where Kelly and I wanted to see our parents and the first season we weren't really allowed to see anybody. I don't know if this has been talked about before, but, and Kelly and I were like, We're not gonna go on that stage. Unless they let us see our family.

31:32  
By the way. We were talking about Carrie Kelly Clarkson and me, Kelly Clarkson.

31:36  
Yeah. So we like sit together. And we're like, we're not wanting to do anything else, unless you'd like to see our family because our family that her mom was there visiting. And we hadn't seen our families for weeks. And we wanted that, like, we needed that. And we stood our ground. And they allowed us and Kelly is probably, I mean, she's so down to earth, like she is one of the people when I first met her. And the first time I heard her saying, I'm like, I actually set it on. Like she's got this just in, like just an incredible human being, and just a fantastic voice. But again, she was so grounded. And it was just like, Look, you have to stay true to who you are. Because that's who people see. Right. I unfortunately was sick during the show. It was really, it was tough for me, because I didn't know I have a condition that I found out about when I was about 20 years old, that I know that I had during the show. And she was somebody that helped me find my strength during the show.

32:39  
And she invited you on her her Michelle, her daytime show. They're talking about the

32:43  
book we were supposed to do. We haven't reached out to her about the book yet. But we I did do something for her show about three years ago, I think it's a drink or right before COVID happened, where we were supposed to go out there. They didn't have the budget, but three of us filmed like a video when she sent us questions and wanted us to answer them. And we did that. And then it was cute. She did like this. Like, what would they be? She saw me. She's somebody on Instagram. She's like, I see Christina, like, being a presidential candidate. I don't think I'll ever, that's just not my thing. But that's what she said a couple years ago. But she's just always been a good person to really is a very kind person super talented. And I you know, I love seeing the success that she's having.

33:27  
It's hard to do. It's hard to do. And, and she's she's handling it well. And MD It's just amazing to me that that you that had the 21 that you can end up doing what you're doing and being and, and having a great life and and being an author now. Are you going to write more books,

33:45  
though? I do have another book that we're that Ross web illustrators working on right now. And it's called little cubs happiness quest. And it's about finding what does happiness mean to you? Right and helping children talk about what is happiness, right? Because I think we're constantly told you should be happy, you should be happy. But what is what is happiness? And it's it's a good conversation starter, and, you know, a book that discovers what happened that happiness is different for different people. Right? Explain that? Well, it's, think about it, right? Like, what makes me happy might be different to what makes you happy. But sometimes in the media, we're told it should be the same thing. Right? Teaching children when they're young, like listen, like if rolling around in the grass makes you happy or climbing a tree. Be happy with that. My happiness might be you know, singing my happiness might be something something completely different to yours, and that's okay. And so that's what the book is about. It's a funny, adventurous, you know, story. My kids love it. They were like cracking up about what it means to them.

34:58  
That is, that is just awesome. because those are the two things. If you believe in yourself and you can be happy, you're gonna have a great life.

35:05  
That's what I'm hoping that many people can get, you know, take from that. And kids for generations are able to live a happy, fun life. Because I felt like I've done that, like, I've had hard times, and being happy. And being having a good life does not mean like, doesn't get hard. Right? That is, that might be another book that I write. But um, you know, you have to realize that, like, You are the one that gets you through things, right? You have to if you dig deep, and you can get yourself through tough times, and I've had some,

35:41  
you know, that's, that's the thing, you that's part of being that's part of the human experience, we all at times are going to have tough times, I had what I like to call my bad country music song period, when when it was like, you know, my dad died, my dog died, my wife left, I lost the house, you know, all of those things. And they happen to you. It's how you deal with them. And that, that makes a difference? Are you going to just sit there and poopoo yourself and say, oh, woe is me for the next 20 years? Or are you going to rise above it? We all have the ability to do either one we want,

36:20  
right? And sometimes we don't know how to write. It's teaching others to, like what they need to do what might be helpful for them to be able to rise above it. Oh, that's to contribute.

36:34  
The Absolutely, it's and it's very important. And so that's your second book, what's gonna be your third?

36:40  
No, no, I have to think about that. But the second one, I definitely, definitely around happiness. And maybe the third is talking about the ups and downs of life. Give me ideas, Kevin.

36:55  
How about money? What do you think about it? While we're while we're talking? Because it's, you know, I gotta tell you, it's it's wonderful to have you here you are so down to earth. And when I first read your bio, I was like, we'll see. But you are you're just such a it's such a wonderful human being. And I applaud you. And that meant that means that you're, you're you're getting and your kids love you your parents think the world of you. I'm sure.

37:23  
They're not. They are great parents. Can even like lay it down. No, they, they're fantastic. They really are.

37:31  
But they believe in you and always have.

37:33  
Yes. What?

37:37  
What kind of grandparents are they?

37:39  
They're amazing. My mom is actually so it's been a busy December. I have a new nephew. His name is Ethan. He was born December 13. And my mom and dad had been with him like every day and my parents are divorced. But they are wonderful co grandparents and they're very supportive of they've always been supportive of my children, and they're supportive of my my brother's children as well.

38:00  
Does your dad have changed in his pocket for the children?

38:05  
He's up there always. Both my grandmother, my grandma, my their grandmother and grandpa, my mom and dad are always like, you know, they have to bribe somehow.

38:15  
I got some money in my pocket for these children come over here. This was great fun. What do you see yourself going? What are you? Is there a chance that you're going to go back and and do some more singing and maybe kind of record? You know,

38:30  
I, I've had opportunities to I think once I have a couple more years, I just need to get my my last child situated where I know she's going to be okay. And then I could dive into it again. But I do write, I constantly write I have songs. I wasn't fully out of contract until 2014. And then 2019 Were actually had the rights to my music that I'd written before. Like, that's how serious our contracts were. Well, congratulations,

38:59  
though. That's important. Yeah.

39:02  
So I think now it's, you know, as we go through this period, it's learning what, what avenues I have, and how to proceed.

39:14  
You're, you're in you're in tech. And so you've got a good career in that. You've been a singer you've you've can do you're an author, you I believe you know, that you believe in the title of your book, I believe in me, do you believe in you? You believe in yourself, don't you?

39:34  
100% and I believe I could do anything that I put my mind to. So it's really the focus right? Like when I'm when I'm ready, and I'm focused on that. I'll do it.

39:45  
And I know we talked about this and there's somebody in the audience is going well, okay, your parents are nice people, but it can't be that simple.

39:56  
Then it's when I tell you if I if we had a ours, I can tell you that I have lost people, I've had a nervous breakdown, I have been on the biggest stage I have failed on the biggest stage right? I didn't win American Idol. But I've had to sing on American Idol when I was sick. You know, and that's not easy. I've had a performance that I wasn't thrilled about, because I was ill, right. So I've been through big, bad moments, moments that should have broken me throughout life. And it comes down to the narrative of belief that I have, because my parents provided that to me, they taught me to believe in myself, my grandmother taught me to believe in myself. And that's why I was able to get through some of those tough moments. So that's why to me, it's so important, right as, as kids go through school, they have the mean girls and the mean, boys, right? Like they go through all these tough times throughout life. But if they know that, what they want to do with their life that they're capable of doing because of them, then all that noise fades. And they get to focus on what they want to do for themselves, and they get through it.

41:14  
I gotta ask you, because you are in the process of having teenagers that are in school today. It's been a while since I've had kids in school. What's it like these days is it as tough as I perceive it? It is.

41:30  
It's hard. I mean, middle, I have a high schooler who's a junior, I have a seventh grader, and I have a fifth grader. So those are all very tough ages, kids are going through different experiences, hormones, whatever, at those different times. I think middle school is really tough. Because a lot of children don't necessarily know what they're feeling. And they project certain things to other children. And they're not always the nicest, you know, so it's a lot of when my I have my middle son, he's my artist. So he feels a lot. And it's a lot of when he comes home, and he's upset because someone said something or said something a certain way and having to change his frame of thought about it. It's a lot of work as a parent, right like to truly dig deep, and help them get out of the funk that they might have been in because of what happened in school, because they're there eight hours out of the day. So it is tough, it's tough. And for us, my husband I talked about all the time, like having three kids and three different schools. It's not just the logistics, it's the emotions that each of them are going through. And those at these times. So it's not easy, you know, but we signed up to be parents. So we signed up for the hard work.

42:50  
And you're, you're doing as good a job as anybody can do. Because, you know, and there's so much, it's hard, because there's so much when they're, they're out of your life for eight hours a day. So you there's a limited amount of, of influence that you can have during that particular time. And the lot of bad stuff can happen during that time. Yeah.

43:13  
It's very true. And you realize that you don't have as much control as you'd like, as a parent, I was talking to my mom about it today, because she was with me for the new year for the weekend. And I said, I realized, like, I don't have the control over everything. And I have to just let it go and realize that things bad things can happen. And I can't do anything about that I can only I'm only in control of how I react to it. I pray and I think positively but I have to understand the reality that someone might hurt my kids feelings, and that might impact how they feel, you know, for months, or years or something that they revert back to. But I can only control what I can control and try to be a positive influence. And even as a parent, sometimes we don't have good days as parents, right? Like, there's days where I'm like, I should you know, I couldn't handle that better. Or maybe I shouldn't. You know, like, that's part of that, too. So it's, it is a constant.

44:12  
Wait, wait until your kids get to be 30. And they will then start bringing up stuff that you have no idea what they're talking about. But I remember when you did that I did no such thing. Yes, you did.

44:24  
Could I blank that out? What are you talking about? This adventure of parenting is no joke. Like it really is. It's an adventure. But lots of ups and downs.

44:37  
If and if you can get through the teenage years with your children and thinking that you're still an intelligent human being, you've done better than most of

44:44  
us. What's your advice, Kevin for that since you've gone through that?

44:47  
Wait till you're 30 because then they'll figure out that you're not as dumb as they thought you were

44:52  
like, Oh, Mom, you're right, dad. You're right. Is that do they come back and say that?

44:57  
Oh, yes. Oh, yeah. And then Then they they start seeking advice. And then then that's when you say, I have no idea what do you what would your father say? Or something? Oh, and the other thing is, is keep your checkbook in your wallet close to your vest, because they will be coming for it at one point.

45:19  
My mom is like, you're always you're always a parent and never stops, no, like ever end.

45:25  
But the one piece of advice that I could give, if two parents out there, if you've got kids that are that are getting into their 20s, and they have the ability to make their own decisions about stuff. Do not say to them, This is what I think you should do. Because I'm your father, I never have said that to them. What I say to them is, I'm your trusted advisor. If you want my advice, it's here for you. If you don't find I'm not going to I'm not going to offer you unsolicited advice, because you're not going to take it anyway. You're going to do what you want to do. But if you want some advice I've booked I know that you know that I've been down this road before. And so I can help you if you choose to. But I don't I don't force it on them either. Now, my former wife on the other hand, it still says I'm your mother, and this is what you should do. And they don't listen at all. So. So that would be a good advice, Devon, you know, but that's that's only when they get old enough is like I had a cousin one time that said he had a 13 year old boy. And he said I don't know what happened. But when he turned 13 He rolled over when he was sleeping his brains fell out of his head.

46:41  
I get that my office. I feel like from 13 to 15 No, it was really like a lovin to 14 was like a weird time. And then all of a sudden, it just clicked and he came back. I was like, yes, you know, you're back again, there's my kids for a period of time, we'll see how long that lasts. But it is it's interesting how they kind of become aliens.

47:11  
They do well. And with the with the UN, I can't imagine what it's like today, because with the amount of information that they carrying around with them on their on their phone, the amount of access that they've got to so many websites that they don't need to have access to, and things like that. It's a completely different world than it used to be. And and so it's it's hard to begin to navigate as a parent through any of that, because the

47:38  
cop says that. I'm like, really? Can we like just clarify the Tick Tock isn't always right. There's some good information on ticks. But you need to like fact check that you know, it's funny. It's your parenting against the internet.

47:55  
Yeah, but I have a friend who is that is a conspiracy theorist. And I said, So where did you get this information? She said, Well, I saw it on the internet. It's like, oh, yeah, there's a good source of information for you. Did you check where that came from? Well, no, it was, um, it was on the internet. And it says like, yeah, did they take it as true? And then John F. Kennedy, Jr. Probably is not running around today. So I'm sorry.

48:26  
I know. It's crazy. The amount of conspiracy theories that are out there. That's that's a whole other show.

48:32  
And see, that's generally speaking, that's a show that I don't want to I don't get into, because then you can go down that rabbit hole and you can never come out.

48:40  
I agree. I definitely agree. I have some family members that are down that rabbit hole.

48:48  
Well, me too. But by the way, I thoroughly enjoyed our conversation. I hope you have.

48:54  
I really have no it's been wonderful. Thank you.

48:58  
You're You're an awesome, awesome lady. And, and by the way, go get the book. I believe in the it's out now. Right?

49:06  
It's out you can actually get it on my website, I believe WWW dot I believe in me do u.com where you can purchase the hardcover and the paperback. You can also get it on Amazon. But just the paperback is on Amazon. I also have and I haven't marketed this yet, but I have the digital audio version of it as well. It's an animated audio version. Whoo cool website that they can stream. So

49:32  
Oh, that is way cool. Have you thought about doing a podcast?

49:37  
There's so many ideas that I have Kevin that people have brought like you brought that to me and I brought up but it's really just trying to fit it in because I have a full time career. And this is this is truly my passion project like i i have self funded this. You know because I think it's important. I think the message is important.

49:58  
You and me both sister Hi, I'm so funding this as well. And it says, because I believe, I believe in the message. And that's why it's important for me to have people like you on to talk about your book and what you believe in, because you, and I keep, keep telling authors this, and I don't know if they believe me or not, but I say, you know, what's going to happen is, in two or three years, your book is going to be on a shelf, and somebody's going to pick it up, or it's going to be the secondhand bookstore, and they're going to pick it up, and they're gonna find such value in it. And you'll never know who they are, you'll never meet them. Unless they're there. They're bright enough to send you an email or something. But a lot of times, they're not going to do that. But you can you're impacting the world in a way that you'll never know. But just know that you are,

50:46  
I appreciate that I really, really do.

50:50  
Because it's really important. Let's go through your information. Again, if you want to go to her website, go, it's I believe in me, do u.com. And as you can find out all the information there and and can they still pick up? Or your records anywhere in the stores? Can people go buy them? Or on Spotify or something?

51:11  
No, no. So I that's another project that's on my to do list, because I know that I can upload them. But there's a whole bunch of other things that I have to do. But I do think probably I would say before 2025 Give me a couple years that I will have that all together.

51:28  
Well, just take your time you've got three kids is a monumental task, and keeping your family together and, and having a good time. And it's it's, it's hard. So that's that's I applaud you for taking a stepping back. And not saying I can have both I can have the career and I can raise the kids and I can do because it's really hard to do

51:52  
the act and I am very conscious of that balancing act. So I have to keep in mind.

52:01  
No Did you? How long have you did you go to school to get into tech?

52:05  
I actually went to school for sociology and finance. I got into technology on a whim. So it I had an opportunity, like I cold called a company. And I wanted to learn. And I believed that I could do it. So it's not something I went to school for something that I identified as a I actually looked at the statistics for the career growth. And I was like, I'm gonna do this. I'm gonna learn it. I did it.

52:37  
Well, I gotta tell you not not only are you a beautiful woman, and you've got a great set of pipes, but you're smart, too. Thank you. You've done, you've done really well. It's been my pleasure to have you on the show. And will you come back and see me sometime?

52:54  
I definitely won't just let me know when

52:56  
and and if if Kelly ever calls you and I can I come hold your coat,

53:02  
you can definitely come. It's funny. Like I was saying I'm like I definitely have to reach out to her

53:12  
children with this book, she would she would have you on in a heartbeat.

53:16  
I know, we just I just haven't reached out yet. But I will definitely I'll definitely do that. That is a plan for the new year.

53:22  
23 is going to be a great year for you.

53:25  
And I hope it's a great year for you as well.

53:27  
It is going to be a great year, we've got lots of stuff going on. And we're growing and and it's it's it's great fun. And I really enjoyed having you on. By the way, before we go, we've got probably a minute and a half, I want to give you the opportunity, I'm going to step over here side. And I want you to talk to our audience about anything that's on your heart that you would like them to know, those that are listening now. And those that are going to be listening in the future.

53:54  
Well, I will say, if there's anything like this before the year, Happy New Year, there's anything that's been weighing on your mind, anything that you feel like you want to do. Just do it, take a step, whether it's big or small, and take steps towards your dreams, because it's never too late.

54:17  
I couldn't agree more. And, you know, I started this 20 years ago, and I had to give it up for a number of years because I had to go I don't know, like make a living. And I did that. And now I'm doing this again. And I'm not I'm not a young spring chicken. I'm 65 years old, but I'm gonna be doing this for

54:36  
so that's amazing. Well, thank

54:37  
you. So I'm 65 and I'm gonna be doing this for a very long time because I love it and I love talking to people like you. And I love the fact that you can impact people that you meet and you do that every day, don't you?

54:51  
I hope so. I hope I do. I hope you know I know I get impacted by people every day so I I hope that I'm reciprocating that.

55:01  
I try. And the only time I have really a problem is when I'm driving. But you know, other than that, I try and be nice to everybody. Well, it's not that I'm not nice to people when I'm driving, but I'm appalled at their behavior while I'm driving, if that makes sense,

55:17  
like my husband, he tries to teach people like, he'll like, you're not supposed to go through that light and he'll be put them on like, they might not learn their lesson.

55:26  
No, they'll just look at you like, I don't know what his problem is. Because he's so anyway, again, we have been talking with Christina siwi. And I want to thank you again for being here. And by the way, we'll be here today. It's Monday. We'll be here Wednesday at four. And by the way, be kind to one another because you know, knew each other's all we've done. We'll see you Wednesday.